Does Christian Marriage Counseling Work?

Relationship counseling, and Christian marriage counseling in particular, has been around for decades. A key part of Christian marriage counseling that makes sense to many is that it focuses on helping couples reconnect with one another and together work through the problems they are experiencing. The approach is not simply one spouse taking the other to counseling so that they can be improved.

Christian marriage counseling is a cognitive behavioral-based counseling that uses principles that originate from the Bible to bring married Christians closer together. The purpose is to help participants develop relational techniques that strengthen contact, sensitivity, and dedication to one another while encouraging the individual’s relationship with God.

Misunderstandings, fights, and grudge-bearing are common to many marriages, and they would benefit from Christian marriage counseling. Being in an environment that teaches how to forgive and heal from circumstances that harm the relationship is found to be useful to these couples.

Techniques taught during Christian marriage counseling

Take a look at some of the exercises that one can expect during a Christian marriage counseling session that will broaden your connection with your spouse. These exercises are sometimes done under the supervision of the counselor and may also be given as homework assignments.

One example of this could be expressing appreciation of particular qualities that you love and/ or respect about your spouse and then also discussing qualities that you battle with and do not like.

The home version of this exercise may be looking at scripture references on each of those characteristics and seeing how other people in the Bible dealt with similar circumstances.

The counselor will also be trained to recognize communication techniques that you use and explain how to better use these to explore the perspective of your spouse in daily life

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is often used during Christian marriage therapy.

There will be times when the marriage counselor will ask to pray and read the Bible with the couple they are counseling as part of Christian marriage counseling. As part of this, you can expect the therapist to incorporate biblical passages as references to relevant topics as they arise during counseling sessions.

Christian marriage therapy may use cognitive behavioral therapy to help individuals explore their relationship with God and learn how to evaluate their own thinking patterns and emotions toward themselves and their partner.

Christian marriage counseling is often used to assist with marriages, communication, relationships, acceptance, forgiveness, anger, and stress. Finding a professional, experienced therapist who can integrate Christian understanding into marriage counseling may sometimes take longer than expected, however contacting our office will assist in this matter.

When looking for Christian marriage counseling ask whether you and your spouse would prefer a professional therapist or a church pastor to offer the counseling. Both will work toward a similar goal, however, will likely use different routes to achieve it.

A key difference between the two is that therapists are trained in psychotherapy which introduces a more psychological approach to counseling while still weaving in Christian understanding and beliefs.

A pastor will be trained in theology and biblical understanding, and so while pastoral marriage counseling will likely include cognitive-behavioral techniques, they will mostly offer insight from their theological training.

First steps

When looking to start counseling a key first step is to include your partner. Both of you must agree to take part in counseling, even if one is skeptical.

The second step is to make sure that both of you want to benefit from Christian marriage counseling. This attitude is key and those who attend therapy must be sincerely open to making an effort and welcome the required change and growth. If not, then there is a chance that the therapy will not be effective.

As with one-on-one therapy, couples therapy is labor intensive. You will need to consider the feelings and needs of your spouse even as you try and explain your own concerns. Remember you will be going home with them after the session, so make sure you are considerate in your feedback to the therapist.

Christian marriage counseling will also require you to place yourself under the authority of the Bible, and in a mental and emotional position where you are prepared to submit to its teaching and the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life.

Looking for Christian marriage counseling?

If you are looking to better understand the benefits of Christian marriage counseling, or if you have decided on it as an appropriate course of action in your marriage, then please browse our online counselor directory or contact our office to schedule an appointment. It would be an honor for us to walk with you on this journey.