Codependency

Not every person exhibits the same symptoms of codependency. Each of the symptoms alone does not necessarily mean that a person is codependent, but if there is a combination of these symptoms, it could indicate the presence of codependency issues.

Control issues: This is most evident when a person tends to link another person’s well-being to their value as a person. Because they want to help others have a better life, this can become a possessive or controlling behavioral issue.

Low self-esteem: If a person is unable to value themselves, they may turn to others to find that value. One way a codependent person combats this is by finding internal contentment by being needed.

Poor boundaries: A codependent person will strive to put the needs of others before themselves. They will suppress true feelings in order to keep others from being hurt. They have a deep need to be the savior for others and fix the situation. This can cause them to become an enabler to those who truly need help.

Perfectionism: Codependency can also manifest in the behavior of self-reliance. A codependent person does not handle criticism well. They believe they can tackle the world and do everything perfectly.

Codependent people tend to engage in relationships with people who are also codependent or have other emotional issues. They will try to control the situation in order to be sure that the other person is happy and content and keep their inner struggle hidden.

The signs of a codependent relationship can vary depending on the dynamic of the relationship, but the most common signs of a codependent person are:

• They put their partner’s needs in front of their own
• They are a people pleaser
• They feel that no matter how hard they try, they aren’t good enough
• They hide their emotions to keep from upsetting the other person
• They feel disrespected
• Their moods are based on the mood of their partner
• They may become scared to leave the relationship
• The relationship is abusive and they stay
• They exhibit poor boundaries
• They have feelings of anxiety/depression

There are not any specific noted causes of codependency. This behavior is a learned behavior. Codependent people learn from watching others who are codependent. It is typically passed down in dysfunctional families where most family members experience fear, pain, and anger. Some of the issues that can contribute to codependent behavior are:

Addictive behavior including drug addiction, workaholic tendencies, gambling, sexual addictions, and overindulgence of food. 

Abusive physical, emotional, and sexual behaviors. 

Chronic mental or physical illness.

Codependents do not confront problems and they will ignore the fact that an issue is even present. The focus is not on the self but rather on the one who needs help. Every aspect of a codependent person’s attention will be focused on the person who is in need of help for illnesses or addictions.

The first step is to recognize that there is a problem with the dynamics in the relationship. At Texas Christian Counseling, we want to help you find the solution that will help you reach the relationship goals you desire. There are different treatment methods that Christian counselors in Texas use to help with codependency.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) may be used to help you navigate your feelings, thoughts, and emotions so you can understand the responsibility for your choices and happiness.
• Family counseling can be beneficial in helping everyone recognize how to create healthy relationships.
• Psychotherapy is used to help discover and process what led to codependent behavior.
• Marriage counseling is useful for couples who want to achieve a better relationship and remove toxic behaviors.

Conclusion

The licensed counselors at Texas Christian Counseling are ready to help you reach your goal of a healthy relationship and healthy living. Through Bible-based therapy, you will be able to recognize the behaviors that need changing and focus on how God can help you attain peace and contentment in Him.