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Codependency

Texas Christian Counseling

Codependency describes the behavior of a person in a relationship who strives to be the people pleaser. Their actions and attitudes reflect the need to help others in order to validate who they are as a person. They seek approval or even disapproval from others. They want to be the attention of others’ affections whether it is good or bad.

These behaviors tend to manifest in relationships that are unhealthy or unbalanced. The codependent person strives to save others from themselves but fails to understand who they are and what they need. This can be a destructive force in relationships. Texas Christian Counseling can help you identify this behavior and work toward creating a healthier you for yourself and those you love.

Articles about Counseling for Codependency

Photo of Tammy Varghese

Tammy Varghese

Apr
2025
17

What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

Tammy Varghese

Codependency can be influenced by various factors, including but not limited to low self-esteem, family dynamics, and insecure attachment styles. For example, survivors of traumas may internalize the belief that they are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others, leading to codependent tendencies. What is codependency? Codependency can be defined as an excessive reliance emotionally or psychologically on a person or thing that supports a belief in one’s identity. Part of being codependent is allowing your identity to rely on the validation of others. We all have a natural longing to belong or be accepted. No one wants to feel like they don’t belong or feel rejected. Codependency is...

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Photo of Bryan Ferguson

Bryan Ferguson

Apr
2025
10

How Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Affects Relationships

Bryan Ferguson

When you think about relationships, do those thoughts come with warm and welcoming feelings, or are you left feeling on edge? People don’t experience relationships the same way, and how you interact with others and form relationships is influenced by your earliest interactions with others. Depending on what those interactions were like then, you may have trouble forming healthy relationships with people now. How a person relates to others and forms connections is called an attachment style. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one type of attachment style, and it has a significant impact on relationships. Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style xA person’s attachment style develops early in life, especially during childhood and...

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What are the Common Symptoms of Codependency?

Not every person exhibits the same symptoms of codependency. Each of the symptoms alone does not necessarily mean that a person is codependent, but if there is a combination of these symptoms, it could indicate the presence of codependency issues.

Control issues: This is most evident when a person tends to link another person’s well-being to their value as a person. Because they want to help others have a better life, this can become a possessive or controlling behavioral issue.

Low self-esteem: If a person is unable to value themselves, they may turn to others to find that value. One way a codependent person combats this is by finding internal contentment by being needed.

Poor boundaries: A codependent person will strive to put the needs of others before themselves. They will suppress true feelings in order to keep others from being hurt. They have a deep need to be the savior for others and fix the situation. This can cause them to become an enabler to those who truly need help.

Perfectionism: Codependency can also manifest in the behavior of self-reliance. A codependent person does not handle criticism well. They believe they can tackle the world and do everything perfectly.

How Does Codependency Affect Relationships?

Codependent people tend to engage in relationships with people who are also codependent or have other emotional issues. They will try to control the situation in order to be sure that the other person is happy and content and keep their inner struggle hidden.

The signs of a codependent relationship can vary depending on the dynamic of the relationship, but the most common signs of a codependent person are:

  • They put their partner’s needs in front of their own
  • They are a people pleaser
  • They feel that no matter how hard they try, they aren’t good enough
  • They hide their emotions to keep from upsetting the other person
  • They feel disrespected
  • Their moods are based on the mood of their partner
  • They may become scared to leave the relationship
  • The relationship is abusive and they stay
  • They exhibit poor boundaries
  • They have feelings of anxiety/depression

What are the Causes of Codependency?

There are not any specific noted causes of codependency. This behavior is a learned behavior. Codependent people learn from watching others who are codependent. It is typically passed down in dysfunctional families where most family members experience fear, pain, and anger. Some of the issues that can contribute to codependent behavior are:

Addictive behavior including drug addiction, workaholic tendencies, gambling, sexual addictions, and overindulgence of food. 

Abusive physical, emotional, and sexual behaviors. 

Chronic mental or physical illness.

Codependents do not confront problems and they will ignore the fact that an issue is even present. The focus is not on the self but rather on the one who needs help. Every aspect of a codependent person’s attention will be focused on the person who is in need of help for illnesses or addictions.

What Can I Expect from Counseling for Codependency?

The first step is to recognize that there is a problem with the dynamics in the relationship. At Texas Christian Counseling, we want to help you find the solution that will help you reach the relationship goals you desire. There are different treatment methods that Christian counselors in Texas use to help with codependency.

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) may be used to help you navigate your feelings, thoughts, and emotions so you can understand the responsibility for your choices and happiness.
  • Family counseling can be beneficial in helping everyone recognize how to create healthy relationships.
  • Psychotherapy is used to help discover and process what led to codependent behavior.
  • Marriage counseling is useful for couples who want to achieve a better relationship and remove toxic behaviors.

Conclusion

The licensed counselors at Texas Christian Counseling are ready to help you reach your goal of a healthy relationship and healthy living. Through Bible-based therapy, you will be able to recognize the behaviors that need changing and focus on how God can help you attain peace and contentment in Him.

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Benita is a wonderful counselor. She is kind and thoughtful. She is able to help you find new ways to look at issues and help you discover how to address the issues.

Benita has been a wonderful counselor offering insight and advice with a Christian perspective. She is attentive, listens well, and is perceptive. I highly recommend her as a family counselor.

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