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Codependency

Texas Christian Counseling

Codependency describes the behavior of a person in a relationship who strives to be the people pleaser. Their actions and attitudes reflect the need to help others in order to validate who they are as a person. They seek approval or even disapproval from others. They want to be the attention of others’ affections whether it is good or bad.

These behaviors tend to manifest in relationships that are unhealthy or unbalanced. The codependent person strives to save others from themselves but fails to understand who they are and what they need. This can be a destructive force in relationships. Texas Christian Counseling can help you identify this behavior and work toward creating a healthier you for yourself and those you love.

Articles about Counseling for Codependency

Photo of Jessica Pizarro

Jessica Pizarro

Jul
2025
03

Dealing with Codependent Behavior in Siblings

Jessica Pizarro

There’s a saying that blood is thicker than water. This conveys the idea that the connections and meaning attached to being related to someone by blood are deeper than those of other relationships, and thus not easily severed. Even when those relationships are deeply troubled and undesirable, you still share a connection with your family. Blood being thicker than water does not mean that you can’t change things and must leave things as they are. For the sake of your well-being and that of your loved ones, there may come a time when you must act decisively to address issues in relationships with your relatives. It might become necessary to...

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Photo of Joseph Bennett

Joseph Bennett

Jun
2025
10

Moving Toward Healthy Nurture and Away from Parental Codependency

Joseph Bennett

You probably know the verse from the Psalms, which says that children are a gift or heritage from the Lord (Psalm 127:3, NIV). A child ought not to be taken for granted or treated as anything less than a sacred trust from the Lord. One of the challenges that many parents face is how best to discharge this huge responsibility, and it’s not always easy determining the best way to carry out this huge responsibility, and it’s not always easy. Parents can falter in many ways in raising their children. A parent might exasperate their child or fail to bring them up in the way of the Lord (Ephesians 6:10)....

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Browse more articles about Counseling for Codependency

What are the Common Symptoms of Codependency?

Not every person exhibits the same symptoms of codependency. Each of the symptoms alone does not necessarily mean that a person is codependent, but if there is a combination of these symptoms, it could indicate the presence of codependency issues.

Control issues: This is most evident when a person tends to link another person’s well-being to their value as a person. Because they want to help others have a better life, this can become a possessive or controlling behavioral issue.

Low self-esteem: If a person is unable to value themselves, they may turn to others to find that value. One way a codependent person combats this is by finding internal contentment by being needed.

Poor boundaries: A codependent person will strive to put the needs of others before themselves. They will suppress true feelings in order to keep others from being hurt. They have a deep need to be the savior for others and fix the situation. This can cause them to become an enabler to those who truly need help.

Perfectionism: Codependency can also manifest in the behavior of self-reliance. A codependent person does not handle criticism well. They believe they can tackle the world and do everything perfectly.

How Does Codependency Affect Relationships?

Codependent people tend to engage in relationships with people who are also codependent or have other emotional issues. They will try to control the situation in order to be sure that the other person is happy and content and keep their inner struggle hidden.

The signs of a codependent relationship can vary depending on the dynamic of the relationship, but the most common signs of a codependent person are:

  • They put their partner’s needs in front of their own
  • They are a people pleaser
  • They feel that no matter how hard they try, they aren’t good enough
  • They hide their emotions to keep from upsetting the other person
  • They feel disrespected
  • Their moods are based on the mood of their partner
  • They may become scared to leave the relationship
  • The relationship is abusive and they stay
  • They exhibit poor boundaries
  • They have feelings of anxiety/depression

What are the Causes of Codependency?

There are not any specific noted causes of codependency. This behavior is a learned behavior. Codependent people learn from watching others who are codependent. It is typically passed down in dysfunctional families where most family members experience fear, pain, and anger. Some of the issues that can contribute to codependent behavior are:

Addictive behavior including drug addiction, workaholic tendencies, gambling, sexual addictions, and overindulgence of food. 

Abusive physical, emotional, and sexual behaviors. 

Chronic mental or physical illness.

Codependents do not confront problems and they will ignore the fact that an issue is even present. The focus is not on the self but rather on the one who needs help. Every aspect of a codependent person’s attention will be focused on the person who is in need of help for illnesses or addictions.

What Can I Expect from Counseling for Codependency?

The first step is to recognize that there is a problem with the dynamics in the relationship. At Texas Christian Counseling, we want to help you find the solution that will help you reach the relationship goals you desire. There are different treatment methods that Christian counselors in Texas use to help with codependency.

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) may be used to help you navigate your feelings, thoughts, and emotions so you can understand the responsibility for your choices and happiness.
  • Family counseling can be beneficial in helping everyone recognize how to create healthy relationships.
  • Psychotherapy is used to help discover and process what led to codependent behavior.
  • Marriage counseling is useful for couples who want to achieve a better relationship and remove toxic behaviors.

Conclusion

The licensed counselors at Texas Christian Counseling are ready to help you reach your goal of a healthy relationship and healthy living. Through Bible-based therapy, you will be able to recognize the behaviors that need changing and focus on how God can help you attain peace and contentment in Him.

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It feels awkward to rate a counselor like an Amazon purchase. So instead of rating Benita, I’ll tell you how I feel after spending an hour with her… I feel better. Like 5 stars better. I feel heard and understood, and I leave with helpful and applicable wisdom that makes sense

Benita is a wonderful counselor. She is kind and thoughtful. She is able to help you find new ways to look at issues and help you discover how to address the issues.

Benita has been a wonderful counselor offering insight and advice with a Christian perspective. She is attentive, listens well, and is perceptive. I highly recommend her as a family counselor.

I would highly recommend Benita Weems to anyone seeking counseling. She is a great listener, gives truly insightful feedback and genuinely cares for her clients.

Benita Weems has been insightful, caring, and comforting during some very dark days. She has helped guide my wife and I through this trying season of life and we are very appreciative. She comes highly recommended.