What Does the Bible Say About Marriage? Why Did God Design It?

Have you ever asked yourself, “What does the Bible say about marriage?” Do you wonder about things such as whether a wedding ceremony is necessary, whether it is just a man-made tradition, or whether people must be legally married to be considered married in the eyes of God? To answer these questions and more, let’s travel back in time to the Garden of Eden where the first marriage took place.

As God made man in His own image, so He made earthly marriage in the image of His own eternal marriage with His people. – Geoffrey Bromiley

On the sixth day of Creation, God created man in His image (Genesis 1:27) to have fellowship with him. He endowed the man with a relational nature and a need for love, connection, and belonging. God named him Adam and placed him in the Garden to cultivate it and take care of the animals.

God saw that the animals all had mates, but Adam was alone, so He declared:

It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him. – Genesis 2:18

So, the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. – Genesis 2:21-22

Companionship was the first need God created marriage to address. Marriage was to be a partnership between two people equal in value and dignity, yet with unique bodies best suited for the distinct roles that He assigned to them. He endowed them with strengths and weaknesses that complimented each other, so that joined together in unity and individuality they would form two parts of an integrated whole. God then blessed them saying:

Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth. – Genesis 1:28

Before sin entered in, twisting and distorting the beautiful relationship God designed it to be, marriage was meant to be an innocent, open, joyful union in which a couple could enjoy deep friendship, sexually intimacy, the sharing of lifelong experiences, and procreation of children who would become fellow gardeners caring for God’s creation.

What does the Bible say about marriage? God’s blueprint

God’s original plan for marriage was one man and one woman united to become one flesh. It was designed to be a sacred, lifetime covenant between the man, the woman, and God, which could not be broken.

When asked by the Pharisees if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife, Jesus replied:

Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?” So, they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. – Matthew 19:4-6

Though there are no specific instructions in the Bible concerning marriage ceremonies, weddings are mentioned in several places, such as John 2:1-12, which describes a wedding in Cana that Jesus attended.

The Bible knows nothing about “common law” marriage. When speaking to the woman at the well (recorded in John 4:17b-18), Jesus makes it clear that living with a person in sexual union is not considered a marriage in God’s eyes: “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

Marriage was intended to be more than just a physical and emotional union. It was meant to be a moral and legal commitment. Malachi 2:14 describes it as a holy covenant before God. Jewish custom required the couple to sign a written agreement at the time of the marriage, in which the husband accepted the responsibility to provide food, shelter, and clothing for his wife, and promised to take care of her emotional needs as well.

Marriage is intended to reflect the love and relationship between Jesus Christ and his Bride, the Church. It is the most intimate of human unions, and In Ephesians, the apostle Paul exhorts husbands and wives to emulate this spiritual example of Christ and the church, which he refers to as a profound mystery:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. – Ephesians 5:22-33

Sex is not just about procreation. God designed it to be a pleasurable, intimate, bonding experience between a husband and a wife (Matthew 19:5-6). However, sex outside of marriage is a sin.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. – Hebrews 13:4

Marriage is a good thing, but it is not the only good thing. Not everyone is called to be married. Some people have been given the gift of celibacy, and under the influence of God’s grace, are content to abstain from marriage so they can dedicate their lives to serving the Lord. You don’t have to experience marriage to be all that God has called you to be.

For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. – Matthew 19:12

Christian Marriage Counseling

Christian marriage counseling involves a combination of Biblical principles and clinical intervention. If you would like to know more about it, please contact me or one of the other faith-based counselors in our online counselor directory. We would be happy to answer your questions and/or set up an appointment to meet with you.

Resources:

Dave Boehl (2008). “God’s Purposes for Marriage,” Family Life.

John Piper, “A Metaphor of Christ and the Church,” The Standard 74:2 (February 1984): 27, 29.

Paul Carter (November 17, 2019). “5 Surprising Things That the Bible Says about Marriage,” The Gospel Coalition, Canadian Edition.

Robert Hampshire (October 1, 2020). “What Is the Biblical Definition of Marriage?” Christianity.com.

“What Does the Bible Say About Marriage?” Bibleinfo.com.