Getting Married God’s Way

Romantic love is an important part of our human experience. It drives people, through heightened emotions and passion, to make big life decisions and lifestyle changes. There has even been some scientific evidence that suggests that being in love and getting married gives us the same powerful experiences and responses as if we were using cocaine.

But even with its human pleasures and seemingly carnal focus, romantic love is a part of God’s plan. He isn’t the almighty killjoy in the sky that some people try to make Him out to be. He, after all, did invent the concept of procreation. But like with all good things, there are some rules and guidelines we must follow in order to… well, keep these good things good.

If you’re a Christian, you’re probably already aware of the commandments and biblical principles that revolve around marriage. Some people might even think that these rules that God has implemented are stifling or restrictive.

For some, surrendering their wills and succumbing and conforming to a higher authority seems limiting and outdated. So, if you’re one of those people who are struggling to see the value in following God’s law, especially when it comes to your romantic life, keep reading.

God’s laws are not meant to be a burdensome list of restrictions that govern your life. God did give us free will and if you know anything about the life of Christ, you will understand that He, above all others, came to set us free. But that doesn’t give us a free pass to do anything our pretty little hearts desire. Life comes with natural consequences and God’s perfect plan is in place to help limit the negative consequences that life might hand out.

Let’s examine a few of God’s laws regarding marriage to see if they are restrictive, arbitrary laws disseminated by a dictator or a set of guidelines given by a loving Father who truly wants what’s best for his children. You probably see where I’m going with this.

Equally Yoked When Getting Married

The Bible clearly tells us that we should not be “unequally yoked with unbelievers.” That’s fancy biblical talk to tell us that we shouldn’t be getting married to someone outside of our faith. It’s a concept spelled out in 2 Corinthians 6:14. The verse asks “For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

The term “yoked” refers to the practice of harnessing two animals, typically oxen, together with a yoke (a wooden crosspiece) to plow a field. For animals to work effectively, they need to be of equal strength and size; otherwise, the work will be unbalanced and difficult. If the animals are unequally yoked, they go in circles, literally.

With our modern-day focus on equality, we should embrace this concept, not challenge it. God wants us to be in a marriage where we are not overshadowed, nor brought down. He looks upon us as equal partners, both male and female. He doesn’t want us to be with someone who will drag us down or slow us down in our spiritual lives.

God’s law is in our best interest and is meant to create spiritual unity between husband and wife and to bring equality into the marriage. That’s a good thing, right?

Not only does getting married to someone in your faith bring positive aspects to your life, but not marrying someone with a similar belief system can bring negative consequences. If you, as a Christian, marry someone outside of your faith, it can present unique challenges and tension.

One of the primary challenges is the difference in core beliefs and world views. Christians base their lives on faith in Jesus, biblical teachings, and Christian values. A non-believer may have a different belief or no religious conviction at all, which can lead to disagreements over key aspects of your life. And then, guess what? Tension and strife abound.

Monogamy

The Bible presents marriage as a union between one man and one woman. In Genesis 2:24, the Bible says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The idea of “one flesh” is a deeply spiritual concept.

It signifies the deep, spiritual and physical bond that God intended for marriage. He wants us to be unified and happy and live a life as one whole being and not two, separately operating halves.

Monogamy offers a sense of trust and emotional security. When you know that your partner is fully committed to you and only you, it can lead to a deeper sense of safety in the relationship. You don’t have to worry about where their loyalties lie, because you know they are loyal to you which can help both partners feel secure.

This helps to develop deeper emotional intimacy, stability, and even physical health benefits. Monogamous couples don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases, for instance. These are the benefits of marriage within the context of God’s perfect plan.

Straying from His plan does result in consequences. Not that God is sitting on His throne ready to smite you, but breaking a monogamous commitment is bound to result in damages. Loss of trust between partners is the most obvious consequence, but there are others.

Emotional pain, the impact on family and finances, guilt, and loss of respect are all part of the natural consequences that occur when we step outside of God’s perfect plan of a monogamous marriage.

Partnership and Equality When Getting Married

Though the Bible does acknowledge different roles within marriage, it also emphasizes spiritual equality between husband and wife. Galatians 3:28 says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Husbands and wives are seen as partners, called to work together and serve God as a unit. When this concept gets distorted and corrupted, so does the perfect unity of marriage.

A healthy marriage works best when both partners equally contribute to decisions and responsibilities. When one partner becomes domineering, the other partner is left feeling powerless and sidelined. This erodes the sense of teamwork, erodes trust and respect, and increases conflict and division. This can lead to stifled growth and lowered self-esteem.

Doesn’t it seem that God had the right plan? God’s plan is to keep you from feeling disrespected and protects your partner too. God’s law to treat each other as equal partners sounds more empowering than stifling, don’t you think?

Follow God’s Laws for Your Best Life

If you are considering marriage, I encourage you to prayerfully and seriously consider God’s guidelines on marriage. Not only because you’re obligated, but because you’re smart.

Talk with a Christian counselor, enroll in a premarital class at a local church, and dive deep into your own study of God’s perfect plan for marriage. As Christians, we have a guidebook that tells us how to arrive at our destination with minimal heartache and free of preventable mishaps, if we will embrace it.

If you are already married, it’s not too late to follow God’s path. God’s plan is perfect, but we are not. So where does His expectation intersect with our imperfections? Grace. The very story of salvation is rooted in God’s grace to us.

He, Himself, came to Earth, flawless and pure, and took on the dirty scum of sin for us. That grace extends to your marriage too. If you have already fallen victim to the sins of this world and broken the trust of your partner, it’s not too late to make a course correction and set your sights on the marriage God intended you to have.

Christian Counseling When Getting Married

We are flawed, human, and fallible. We can’t possibly follow God’s plan for our lives, let alone our marriage, without His help. If you are struggling with romantic love and finding your place in God’s perfect plan, consider seeking the help of a professional Christian therapist in Texas.

These trained professionals at Texas Christian Counseling can help you get on track and give you tools to help you and your partner live your best life, both personally and romantically, within marriage. To meet with one of the therapists at Texas Christian Counseling, call our office today.