8 Possible Signs of Codependency

Codependency is a complex and multi-faceted condition that is characterized by one person’s excessive emotional and psychological reliance on another. It is usually easy to spot signs of codependency in romantic relationships, but it can also be characteristic of other forms of relationships. Someone can be in a codependent relationship with a child, parent, friend, workmate, boss, or student.

For it to be a codependent relationship, the relationship will be imbalanced. One person feels an exaggerated sense of responsibility over the other to the extent of enabling destructive and unhealthy behavior.

8 Possible Signs of Codependency

Codependency is not an easy condition to diagnose. However, there are some common signs, symptoms, and behavioral patterns that can be observed in people suffering from it. Below are some examples of codependency.

Lack of personal identity.

A codependent person has difficulty defining who they are, what they like, or what their personal preferences are because their identity is intertwined with the person with whom they are in relationship. This is usually the case in romantic relationships where it becomes so enmeshed that it’s hard to see where one person starts and ends.

Lack of trust in one’s ability.

Codependent people are always looking for a second, third, or fourth opinion on anything they want to do or try. They lack trust in themselves, so they always need someone else to check and validate their ideas.

Debilitating fear of being abandoned or rejected.

The fear of rejection is so deep in codependent people that they will do whatever it takes to stay in a relationship, even if it is abusing and damaging to themselves. This is also tied with a heightened need to please all the time. They will do anything to please others, even at their own expense.

Living for the approval of others.

Other people’s approval is important to those struggling with codependency. This means that they value the opinions of others over their own. They will avoid conflict, not call out problematic behavior, or say no to requests as they do not want anyone to be upset with them.

Dependence on a relationship.

Codependency has also been termed relationship addiction for this reason. People struggling with codependency rely on this one relationship for their well-being. They cannot imagine a life without it.

Lack of personal boundaries.

For us to function well in life and protect ourselves, we need boundaries. Boundaries are a way of letting people know how they can treat us and what we will accept. Those struggling with codependency find it hard to set personal boundaries. Due to their need for approval or fear of rejection, they will go with the flow, even when it’s not good or safe for them. They struggle to be assertive and ask for what they need.

Low self-esteem.

When struggling with codependency, one of the signs is a low regard for yourself and a poor self-image. This is why codependent people are constantly looking for validation from others, almost as if asking others to evaluate their self-worth.

Fall into the role of care-giving.

Those struggling with codependency have a deep desire to fix others and fall into a care-giving role, even in romantic relationships. This role means they always assume responsibility for the other person, bail them out of situations, and in the process become the other person’s enabler.

Help for codependent relationships

Codependency is a complex issue that needs a professional to diagnose and explain how it affects one’s life. If this list gave you pause and you felt that most of the above signs of codependency describe you or someone you know, please get in touch with our offices. We have trained therapists that will evaluate you and your circumstances, after which they will help with the necessary course of action.