Helpful Conversation Topics for Couples to Make Your Relationship Thrive

Relationships with loved ones can become familiar as you settle into well-worn routines. This can be an immense benefit for a relationship, as it becomes predictable and stable. When you know what to expect, you know what you need to deal with and the best way to engage with one another. On the other hand, it’s also possible to settle into bad habits that undermine the health of a relationship. These are all good conversation topics for couples.

One of the ways that people in a relationship may find themselves out of sync is by not engaging each other in deep and meaningful conversation. It’s possible for a couple, for example, to talk primarily about the logistical aspects of their life together.

Talk thus revolves around picking up groceries, school runs, laundry, chores, and meal schedules. Make no mistake; these things are important in every relationship, and no relationship could function without this kind of talk.

The problem comes when the relationship is reduced to only that kind of talk. It’s a little like subsisting on a diet of water; yes, you need water to survive, but you need other things too, including the little things that add pizzazz and flair to life. For a couple, it’s important to have those conversations about daily life, but it needs to be supplemented with other talk too.

Creating an environment for conversation topics.

One of the challenges that couples face is having space and time to talk. If your day is busy, you may only be able to squeeze in what will help get things done that need doing.

In this way, the things that make a couple’s daily lives function will typically be prioritized, such as who will fetch the kids from school, or what needs to be taken out of the freezer for dinner. The busyness of American lives means there often isn’t time to just sit down together to shoot the breeze.

If a couple wants to go deeper than just having functional conversations, they need to carve out space for it. This can be done in various ways, including the following:

Regular date night.

Having time set apart each week to connect can form part of a healthy rhythm of relating to each other. The date night doesn’t need to be elaborate or inventive; the big idea is to just have a set time each week to connect without distractions.

Daily check-ins.

Instead of having a weekly time of intentional connection, you can set aside time every day to catch up with each other. This can be after the kids are in bed and over a glass of wine or your favorite board game. It may not be an extended period, but it is a time of intentional connection.

Some conversation topics for couples.

When you’ve been with someone for a while, it can feel as though you’ve spoken about everything there is under the sun. This is one reason why couples can forego engaging in ongoing conversation after knowing each other for a while. However, there is always something to gain from digging deeper into how your partner thinks and feels about themselves, life, their work, or the world around them.

To help you out with some topics of conversation, below are a few questions that you could ask your partner when you make time to connect. You can choose to focus on one or two, digging a little deeper into what they say, or you can talk through several of them and see what sticks out the most and requires further pursuit.

The key thing is to remain curious about your partner, to not assume that you know everything there is to know about them, and to be open to being surprised by them.

The following questions may allow you to explore different aspects of your life and relationship, and the answers might yield deeper insight into each other and exciting new things to pursue.

• How did we make each other smile this week?
• What makes you happy and excited about life?
• How would you like to grow in the next few years?
• What is one thing the lord has taught you this week?
• How would you describe our relationship right now?
• How could I be a better partner?
• What do I do that makes you feel most loved?
• What hobby would you like to take up together?
• Is there any unresolved conflict in our relationship?
• When do you need assurance of my love the most?
• What desires do you have that we haven’t talked about?
• In what areas is it hardest to be frank and open with me?

Finding help to make your relationship thrive.

Obstacles such as being busy can disrupt a couple’s time together. It’s also true that a lack of curiosity about each other can make a couple go through the motions without nurturing their relationship. Engaging in conversation with each other can help a couple remain connected, knowing what their respective needs are, and how best to show up for each other.

If you have unresolved conflict in your relationship, or if you’re struggling to connect, there is a benefit in seeking the help of a Christian couples counselor. Your counselor can help you better understand the dynamics in your relationship, helping you develop the skills you need to cope with stress and communicate effectively with one another.