Love Thy Neighbor: Using Scripture to Forgive Others and Ourselves

Were you aware that unforgiveness can lead to physical, mental, and spiritual illness? Think of unforgiveness like a dark mass that moves, slithers around, making its slimy way through us. When we refuse to forgive, this dark mass grows. Eventually, it grows so large that it blocks out the light.

How can we stay connected to Jesus if we have blocked His light with unforgiveness? Whether that means we need to forgive others or forgive ourselves, the Bible can help us if we learn to pray His word over our lives.

The Danger of Unforgiveness

God does not instruct us to forgive others simply because it is a nice gesture. He commands us to spare us from the poison that is unforgiveness. Remember the dark mass we compared unforgiveness to in the above example? That dark mass will eventually work its way into your health and your relationships.

We realize that forgiving someone is difficult, especially if they inflicted childhood trauma, sexual abuse, or physical harm on you. We are not advocating that you should find that person and love on them in the name of forgiveness. We are stating that it is possible, only with God’s grace and professional help, to forgive those people in your heart and move on with your life.

Unforgiveness causes stress and anxiety throughout the body. Intrusive thoughts can enter the mind, and fear can develop. Both can lead to paranoia or panic attacks. The anxiety stemming from unforgiveness can raise blood pressure, create rises and drops in cortisol and other hormone levels, develop headaches, cause chest pain and shortness of breath, stimulate muscle pain and tightness, decrease libido, and bring on fatigue.

These physical manifestations are bad enough, but when you consider the spiritual ramifications of unforgiveness, we can understand why the Bible commands us to forgive one another.

What the Bible Says About Forgiveness

If you are familiar at all with the Christian belief, then you know that everything that happens in the Bible leads to one thing: God’s example of His love and desire to be with us. He loved us so much that He gave His Son for us so that our sins would be forgiven and we could boldly approach His throne. We do not need a middleman or burnt sacrifices anymore. Jesus was the sacrifice!

Jesus’ love, teachings, death, and resurrection were the ultimate sacrifice. This is God’s example of forgiveness for us. Likewise, when we repent, confess, and turn away from our sins, God is quick to forgive. He doesn’t stay angry with us. He washes away the guilt and shame and replaces them with supernatural peace and joy. With this grace, we can rest assured that we are new creatures in Him.

The first step is acknowledging the sin, error, and hurt, and confessing to the Lord. Sometimes this means acknowledging it to yourself. “Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14 NLT)

That is a promise from God. He will hear you and forgive your sins. He will restore what you have lost. If you have hurt another person and sinned against them, ask God. Listen for His prompts in your heart. “Confess your sin to the Lord, the God of your ancestors, and do what he demands.” (Ezra 10:11 NLT)

Even if you do not feel forgiven, know that God heard your earnest prayer and sees your heart. He knows your sorrow. “Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, ‘I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.’ And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.” (Psalm 32:5, NLT)

When God forgives sin, He blots it out. This is an example of what we should do. We should forgive others and not throw their mistakes back in their faces or hold grudges. If the other person has repented, turned away from their sin, and followed Christ, we should extend the same mercy God gave them (and us). Jesus said, “Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” (Matthew 5:44, NLT)

Jesus had a lot to say about forgiving others:

Peter came to him and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’

‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied. ‘but seventy times seven!’ – Matthew 18:21-22, NLT

We need to remember that everyone is human and born into a fallen world. Only through Jesus Christ do we have any hope of mercy and grace. The disciple Peter wrote, “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” (1 Peter 3:9 NLT)

That is sometimes tough to swallow. Peter was the disciple who cut off a soldier’s ear when they came to arrest Jesus. He was the disciple who denied even knowing Jesus, not once, but three times! Yet, he repented and became known as the rock upon which Jesus would build His church. We do not know how far God’s purpose extends for us or others.

This is not to say that life will be easy after confession and turning away from sin. Sin’s consequences can still come back to haunt us, but we must lean on God and trust that He will use it for His glory.

How a Christian Counselor Can Help

The Christian life is not meant to be lived alone. Life is hard enough if you struggle with addictions, mental health conditions, or trauma. Life events such as marriage, pregnancy, divorce, financial concerns, and loss fuel an already raging fire. A Christian counselor could be the person you need to help you get back on the right track.

Growing closer to the Lord is a top priority. Learning to pray powerful prayers that include scriptures on forgiveness can help clear your mind and heart. Praying God’s word and promises back to Him can leave you feeling stronger and more confident.

Getting to the root of unforgiveness can lift a heavy burden from your shoulders. A counselor can assist you in objectively identifying where unforgiveness may be causing you physical and mental distress. It starts with healing you from the inside out.

God wants to heal you, and He knows that it will continue to tear you apart until you let the offense go. Forgiveness is about breaking the chains of bitterness and walking in God’s light.

A counselor will create an individualized therapy plan based on your situation. They may suggest techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Exposure Therapy. Talk therapy is an effective treatment. You can agree to individual, group, or family talk therapy.

Couples or marriage therapy can be helpful if you find it difficult to forgive your spouse. The counselor serves as an unbiased party who can offer encouragement, ideas, and constructive suggestions. With an overabundance of therapy options, you can try a few different tactics to address your current circumstance for the best outcome.

Forgiveness may not happen overnight, but God’s Spirit has a way of helping us forgive those who have wronged us so we can heal. God longs for us to be set free from the bondage of sin, guilt, and shame. Forgiveness is a step toward that, and it is one you can do.

If you need help getting started or someone to talk to, reach out to meet with a Christian counselor today. We can help you understand how God’s truths apply to your life and how you can boldly step forward in His grace.