Raising Kids: Parenting Tips for When You Feel Overwhelmed

When you encounter verses such as Psalm 127:3, you might feel a mixture of emotions. The verse reads, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3, NIV). One thing a parent might feel is a deep sense of responsibility for their children, perhaps accompanied by gratitude to the Lord for the gift of a child. These emotions can be empowering, but they can also make parents feel overwhelmed due to their gravity.

If you take your parenting seriously and your faith and walk with the Lord seriously, it leads to the conclusion that one’s children are a gift over which to exercise wise stewardship. They belong to the Lord, and like all His gifts, we are to handle them carefully. Parenting in the 21st century can be a complex and overwhelming experience. We all need help with handling this vital role.

Reasons Parents Feel Overwhelmed

Raising a child is a task and responsibility that takes every ounce of energy, and it requires perseverance and ingenuity to accomplish. There are many reasons why a parent or caregiver might feel overwhelmed. Depending on the reason, there are different approaches to take to relieve the sense of pressure and to walk with a greater sense of freedom and joy in your parenting.

You may feel overwhelmed because you have too much to do. Many parents can attest to this. Whether you’re a single parent, co-parenting, or in a relationship, you might be stretched thin because there’s just too much to do and you can’t get to it all. You have work, daily chores, school runs, you need to stay fit and socialize, and a thousand little fires that need putting out in a given day.

A parent may feel overwhelmed because their child has needs that they feel ill-equipped to manage. If your child is sick or has a chronic condition that requires medication, regular doctor’s visits, emotional and mental support, and interfacing with your health insurance provider, that all can become a lot. If your child has special needs, you may feel challenged by your lack of knowledge or an inadequate support system.

Parents can be overwhelmed when they have various competing or coexisting needs of their children. Each child requires a particular style of parenting because they are different, their needs vary, and financial resources are often an active constraint. A parent might feel overwhelmed because they struggle with being adaptable. They may not have the capacity to intentionally walk alongside each child.

Whether or not your child is going through a particular challenge like bullying, struggling with their faith or questions of identity, or relationship hurt, a parent feels those things deeply. They may feel overwhelmed because they want things to be okay for their child. A parent can set high or even unrealistic expectations for themselves, their child, and their parenting, and this pressure can be a major source of parental stress.

What it Looks Like to Feel Overwhelmed as a Parent

Each of us has triggers and a different capacity for dealing with hardship. When we go through a tough time, we each respond differently, and what constitutes a “tough time” won’t be the same for every parent. How you display being overwhelmed will thus look different from the next parent, and it’s important to know your own cues that you are too stressed and overwhelmed.

Being overwhelmed may involve ongoing anxiety about your kids and parenting. It can be an ongoing concern whether they’re doing okay, whether you’re doing enough, and if you’re getting to everything on your to-do list.

Being overwhelmed may cause you to shut down or withdraw. When you’re overwhelmed, it can feel like everything is coming at you, which can lead to feeling paralyzed and unable to act in given moments. It may be hard to make decisions about simple things like when to leave the house to get somewhere, or uncertainty about what course to take with their education and health.

You may also feel overwhelmed when you’re not taking care of yourself. You may not be eating or sleeping well, you’re not getting to do things like exercise or taking time out to rest and be with friends, and you’re not paying attention to details like your clothes or the state of the house.

Parental stress may also be visible in those situations where a person is trying to cope in unhealthy ways. Some may turn to substance abuse, while others use retail therapy, food, or binge-watching television as a form of escape.

Others will bury themselves in work or exercise to cope, or they may find themselves trying to excessively control or micromanage their child’s every activity and interaction. Frustration is usually the result.

Lastly, being overwhelmed can cause a loss of joy. You may find it challenging to do simple things like connecting with your child(ren), laughing, and spending time with them. Instead, you may find yourself short with them, as well as with yourself and others. This, in turn, can induce feelings of guilt and shame, which further burden your heart.

Some Parenting Tips to Help You Deal with Being Overwhelmed as a Parent

There are many reasons why a parent might feel overwhelmed by their various responsibilities to their child. Identifying why you’re feeling overwhelmed is a crucial step in determining the appropriate remedies to regain a sense of control. One challenging aspect of parenting is exactly that – wanting control so that your children are safe, grow up well, and aren’t harmed by the world.

A hard lesson that all parents must learn is that they aren’t in control. Things will happen that we wish hadn’t, and sometimes the parent is the reason for it, but at other times it’s simply because we live in a broken world full of trouble.

Jesus said to His disciples, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:3, NIV).

For a disciple of Jesus, it shouldn’t be unexpected when trouble comes. Sometimes that trouble comes into the lives of our children, and it’s more important than ever to trust that the Lord is good and He is in control. It may not always feel like that when a child is sick or you’re having difficulty with them, but it’s precisely at that point that one needs to trust what is true and He who is faithful.

It is important to acknowledge that feeling overwhelmed as a parent is common. You aren’t alone in feeling like it’s too much, and you’re struggling to handle it. However, there are many strategies to help you manage those feelings and experiences.

Some parenting tips to help you deal with feeling overwhelmed include the following:

Time management Time is such an important resource. There never seems to be enough of it, and it is a non-renewable resource. To make the most of your time, grow in managing it well. That includes creating a daily routine and schedule for consistency, setting realistic goals for each day, and focusing on essential tasks and delegating what you don’t need to do.

Lastly, you must learn to set clear limits and say “No” to things that just add to your plate without meaningful returns. Overcommitting yourself is a major reason for feeling overwhelmed, and it’s vital to learn that it’s okay to decline some things and acknowledge your limitations.

Self-care You need to take care of yourself by resting, sleeping, eating well, and otherwise taking care of your body. Ask a trusted loved one to take care of the kids for a few hours, get regular exercise to reduce anxiety and stress, aim to get around 8 hours of sleep every night because it helps you to regulate your emotions, and learn how to relax in tense moments, through deep breathing, for example.

Lean on your support systems It’s been mentioned before, but perhaps deserves a spotlight; use your support systems adequately. Talk with your partner about your feelings and brainstorm how to address the situation. You can also use resources such as blogs or books, or join a parenting community or support group, and connect with others in the same life stage who are encountering similar issues.

Reconsider your expectations Another key reason for becoming overwhelmed is having high and unrealistic expectations. Sometimes these are fueled by social media or making comparisons with others and their parenting journey. Instead, let go of seeking perfection and be okay with making mistakes. You’re not born knowing how to parent, and it’s an ongoing learning experience.

As you go along, learn to take moments to take a breath and celebrate the small victories and accomplishments. It might be when you get your child to say, “Thank you,” they learn how to potty, or you get better at being patient with them and yourself. It’s okay if you can’t provide the top-of-the-line doodad; just do what you can.

Seek professional help You can also consult experts who specialize in parenting or working with children who have your child’s needs. A therapist or counselor can also offer you personalized guidance, additional parenting tips, and a space to share your struggles safely and without judgment.

Reach out to our reception team and speak to someone if you’re facing specific challenges or are feeling overwhelmed in your parenting. The faith-based counselors in our office are here to help. Contact us today to learn more.