The Benefits of Discernment Counseling

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Knowing what to do in a given situation isn’t always a simple thing. Many of life’s decisions have such huge repercussions, that we need an outside perspective to help us process it all. We can’t always see all the angles in the situation. This is especially the case when it comes to a marriage, and where discernment counseling can be helpful.

No one enters a marriage with the intention of ending it, and the path to a damaged marriage relationship looks different for each couple. If a couple finds themselves in a place where they are wondering if they should end their relationship and go their separate ways, discernment therapy can help them on their journey.

What is discernment counseling?

When breaking up is a real possibility, or in situations where one or both of the spouses aren’t committed to staying in the relationship and working to resolve whatever problems the relationship has, discernment counseling is a valuable tool. Discernment therapy is a short-term therapeutic intervention that helps a couple gain clarity and greater confidence about the future of their relationship.

Couples counseling works and is an option when both partners in a relationship are committed to working on things in the relationship. Discernment therapy, on the other hand, is for couples that aren’t ready for couples therapy. The couple have a mixed agenda, meaning that one of them may be leaning in and eager to preserve the marriage, while the other might be the one who is considering ending the relationship.

Discernment counseling helps the couple to decide whether or not they should even try to save the relationship. It helps partners consider all of their options before they decide to either work on or end their relationship.

The counseling usually happens in a few sessions, between one and five, and typically it is conducted by a marriage and family therapist with a specialization in divorce and marriage. The couple works together to evaluate the marriage and discuss why divorce is now in the cards.

When the couple concludes their sessions, they are in a position to decide whether they want to proceed toward divorce, or if they want to pursue couples or marriage counseling to begin working on the marriage.

The benefits of discernment counseling.

Discernment counseling can help a couple in a variety of ways. It can help them work through issues with communication, resentment, anger, forgiveness, trust, self-esteem, mutual consideration, and compassion. Discernment counseling has other benefits, such as:

Helping the couple in making a considered decision.

When emotions run high, it can be tempting to make a snap decision that affects the rest of your life. discernment counseling helps a couple to pause and consider the situation a bit more before landing on a course of action.

Creates perspective.

In talking about the marriage and the state it is in, as well as through exploring what divorce would mean, discernment counseling helps the couple gain perspective on how they each view these things.

Fosters cooperation.

Getting divorced is never easy. One of the benefits of discernment counseling is that it can result in better cooperation during the divorce as well as after, and that can lead to more productive co-parenting. Even though the couple decides to end things, discernment counseling often helps a couple develop trust and a better relationship.

Strengthen skills.

Discernment counseling, much like marriage counseling, can help strengthen one’s ability to communicate effectively, and it can also help the couple to heal and forgive one another.

Is it for you?

Discernment counseling is a process for the couple to come to a clear decision about what they want to do with their relationship. The counselor helps them discern their course by guiding their discussions, but it is ultimately the couple that decides what is next for them.

If you are in a situation where it seems like your marriage has come to an end, but you’re uncertain whether you want to stay and fix the marriage or not, discernment counseling may be for you.

You and your spouse can discuss seeing a discernment counselor so that you can decide together what comes next for you. Reach out to a marriage and family therapist who specializes in discernment counseling to guide you as you decide the next steps for your relationship.

As with any other form of therapy or counseling, it helps if you approach it with an open mind. While there are many benefits to be reaped from discernment counseling, you will only reap these benefits if you are open and honest with yourself and try to consider your partner’s feelings.