Traveling With an Introverted Teen

Oh, the joys of family car rides! The cooler full of soggy sandwiches and the inevitable round of the license plate game is what memories are made of. But when you have an introverted teen in the car or a cramped hotel room, all that family togetherness just might make this forced family time into a trauma rather than a dream vacation.

Introverted Teenagers

If you have an introverted teen, you know they often prefer to retreat to their rooms or a favorite place of solitude. They probably own a few hoodies that somehow serve as a protective shield against the people of the world. You’ve probably cleaned out a stack of dishes from their room because not only do they like to eat in solitude, but they don’t want to encounter people on their way to the kitchen sink.

Your teen’s introverted tendencies may not be an issue while at home. Everyone has their own schedule and space. But when you take away the comforts of their safe spaces and disrupt their schedule, you may create a stressful, overwhelming environment for your teen. Spoiler alert: This may, in turn, make you and the rest of the family pretty miserable too.

It’s not that your introverted teen doesn’t want to spend time with you. That’s often a misconception that parents have, and get offended by, when their children choose alone time over family connection. But it’s important to note that having an introverted personality doesn’t mean that you don’t like people or even that you don’t want to spend time with them. It means you recharge your emotional batteries by being alone.

Family Travel with an Introverted Teen

Everyone in the household probably knows the rules of engagement with your teen. They understand their need to retreat and respect it. But what happens when you are all forced together for a family road trip or stuffed together in a hotel room? How do you enjoy family time when your teen is tense and stressed from “being over-peopled”?

Here are a few ideas to make your next family vacation more enjoyable for everyone, including your introverted teen.

Noise-Cancelling Headphones (or Earbuds) And everyone said “Hooray!” (though if you’re wearing them, you won’t hear it) for the amazing invention that allows your teen to feel isolated, even if they’re in a car full of family. These handy tech marvels allow your child to listen to their favorite music or audiobook and “zone” out for a little downtime.

Schedule private time Once you’ve arrived at your destination, even if it’s just at the hotel for the night, schedule some time for your introverted teen to be by themselves. This might mean allowing them to take a bubble bath alone in the bathroom, letting them skip breakfast or eat by themselves in the room, or letting them run a quick errand in the family car. You might even want to plan a day at the pool for the family and allow your teen to stay in the hotel room for some alone time.

Give them control Don’t force family fun on your introverted teen. Instead of forcing them to play a round of “I Took a Trip,” ask them for suggestions on activities that they would like to do with the family. Maybe they can suggest an audiobook for the family to enjoy or give them the task of researching interesting roadside attractions.

Let them sleep If your teen nods off during your road trip, let them sleep. Being around people can be exhausting for introverted folks, and your teens may need a little extra sleep to compensate for the extra expended energy. If your teen wants to sleep in or go to bed early, let them.

Plan strategically When creating your itinerary, consider outings that might have a quieter atmosphere and are less crowded. Outdoor attractions often provide a way for teens to wander off and find an isolated bench or a secluded tree stump on which to sit and regroup. Crowded attractions often bring stress to those with introverted tendencies.

Prepare for comfort With a little forethought, you can provide items that might help your teen feel less stressed, even on a family vacation. Consider bringing an eye mask for quick naps in the car or to reduce sensory overload in a hotel room. Weighted blankets offer comfort and security. A familiar item, such as a favorite stuffed animal or pillow, can also bring comfort to a stressed teen.

Keep socializing to a minimum If you’re visiting with family and friends, there is a certain degree of expected togetherness. This might be unavoidable, but it is also important to respect your teen’s need for solitude. Don’t force them to go to dinner or on an excursion if they would rather stay behind and nap.

Yes, they may miss out on visiting a landmark or a great photo op, but a forced teen is a cranky teen. While you may be able to force them to participate in a shared experience, you can’t force them to have fun. And when they’re miserable, the family will feel it too.

Prepare the siblings A car (or hotel) full of family can equal stress for everyone. Throw in an introverted teen and some siblings who have nothing better to do than poke at each other, and you’ve got a shaken soda can, ready to burst at any moment.

Prepare your children, particularly younger siblings, by establishing rules and boundaries. Help protect your introverted teens’ need for privacy by keeping younger siblings entertained and engaged in fun activities that don’t require constant interaction and assistance from your teen.

Let them If your introverted teen is used to playing online games or chatting with close friends, let them continue these habits on the road (in moderation, of course). For practical reasons, their methods and quantity of time online will likely be different than when at home, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still connect with people in the ways that they are used to and most comfortable with.

Many introverted teens find it easier and more satisfying to connect with the world through online platforms. A family vacation is not the time to fight with them about their online habits. Instead, let them have a reasonable amount of freedom to connect in the ways that they are most comfortable with.

Model Christ-like behavior It’s easy to lose your temper on family vacations. You’re often tired, schedules have been disrupted, and money can be tight. But it’s important to remember that as a Christian parent, your children look to you as a spiritual mentor and role model.

It’s essential to do your best to model Jesus-like behavior to your children, even when you get a flat tire or the airline loses your luggage. And it’s even more important to show grace to your introverted teen who is already feeling stressed from a lack of personal, private time.

Consider therapy If your teen struggles with introverted behavior, or if you have a difficult time understanding it, consider talking to a family therapist. A Christian therapist can help you learn how to manage their introverted behavior. A therapist can help you, the parent, learn more about how to support your introverted teen.

Journeying Together-ish (And with Healthy Boundaries)

The road to wholesome family fun and positive memories is paved with bumps and potholes. But with a little careful planning and patience, you can create these beautiful, deliberate connections, even with your reluctant teen who would rather be sitting in their room at home, alone.

While your teen may be hesitant to jump into the middle of frenzied family fun, if you sculpt and shape your family outings in a way that honors their natural need for aloneness, you can create positive memories that will last a lifetime.