Dealing with Kids’ Behavioral Issues in a Church Context

If you’ve been around Christian ministry for any length of time, you know that churches love children’s ministries. And for good reasons. Jesus loved little children. He instructed us, His adult followers, to approach our faith with a childlike mindset.

Churches love working with kids because they are so receptive to the Gospel. However, knowing that it is ideal to introduce children to Christ at a young age so they can grow up in their faith, and having the patience to deal with children high on donuts and freedom from teachers and parents are two different things.

As a Christian leader, you want to model patience and kindness. You want to lovingly interact with the people in your church, especially those vulnerable and impressionable children whom God has entrusted to you. But all that patience and kindness can fly out the window when little Jacob is shoving grapes up his nose and little Ellie is drawing on the classroom walls.

In the public school system or commercial daycare centers, the workers are trained to handle behavioral issues with their students. Churches, on the other hand, are often powered by well-meaning volunteers who have little or no professional training in handling child behavioral issues.

8 Tips for Dealing with Kids’ Behavioral Issues in Church

While this little piece of writing on the internet is not authorized to grant you a degree in child psychology or human behavior, it can help you learn a few tricks that might help you maintain some decorum in the classroom.

Greet kids like you’re excited to see them

Do this because you are! Smile. Say their names and get down to eye-level when you speak to them. If you greet a child warmly before they even enter the room, you’re already on the road to winning them over. Let them know that you’re happy to have them there and that they belong. For some children, this may be the only positive interaction they have all week!

Pray

Don’t forget to pray for your students and with them. After all, introducing them to God and His love for them is the whole point. Ask them for prayer requests and sincerely pray for them. Even if their requests seem insignificant to you, they are important to them, so pray, even if it is for them to get a puppy or go to the moon.

Many times, misbehavior is a symptom of a greater problem. Asking for prayer requests gives your students the platform to unload some of their worries and share their concerns instead of keeping them bottled up inside. And who better to deal with their concerns than God Himself? So, recognize His presence in the classroom every Sunday. Unpacking their silent concerns may help them concentrate during class.

Recognize diversity

Even in places that attract like-minded people, such as a church, you will find a great deal of diversity. Some children will be from single-parent homes, while others will be living with grandparents. Some children will have struggles with ADHD, OCD, or other disorders that could influence their behavior. Some students will simply be craving the attention that they lack at home.

There is no one-size-fits-all method of teaching or controlling behavior in a church setting. But one thing that is true for all kids is that they thrive on love, structure, and clear expectations. Keep in mind that you may have to try a variety of methods to maintain order because not only are your students diverse, but they aren’t always consistent.

Church is not a required or lawfully mandated activity, so you will likely have visitors join your class and regulars skipping church on any given Sunday.

Remain calm

This is easier said than done. It’s easy to lose your sense of calm and control when the classroom is chaotic. But it’s important to be that calm anchor in the rough waters of toy turf wars and memory verse meltdowns. Don’t yell over the noise.

In fact, whispering can be an effective way to calm a room. Students’ curiosity will get the better of them, and they will quiet down, not wanting to miss what you’re saying. Make eye contact with the disruptive student to let them know that you’re monitoring their behavior, but give them a chance to self-correct (unless it’s a safety issue, of course).

Get ahead of boredom

A lot of behavioral issues stem from kids being under stimulated. Plan 10-15% more activities than you think you’ll need. Mix up the energy by transitioning between silly games or fast-paced music and more calming activities such as coloring or a simple craft.

Consider the interests of your students and try to incorporate their favorite activities into your lesson plans. Be sure to include activities that encourage their creative, silly, serious, and cognitive sides. A balanced approach to lesson planning not only keeps the students engaged but also helps prevent disruptive behavior.

Keep them moving

Switch activities every 10-15 minutes, especially for younger children. Let them stand during songs and introduce a few fun hand motions to enhance the lyrics. Act out Bible stories with a few fun props or costumes. Pass out manipulatives that illustrate your lesson and allow the kids to touch and use them. Don’t expect your students to sit still for thirty minutes straight (it’s hard for some adults too), but make deliberate time for movement and physical exertion.

Build relationships with parents and caregivers

Your connection with the children in your class doesn’t just start or end in the Sunday School classroom. Building a relationship with parents or caregivers can give you important insights into a child’s individual needs. An unmet need could be contributing to a child’s behavioral issue. What if that child is hungry? Or maybe that child has housing insecurity.

Make it a habit to greet parents and give them an update on what happens in the classroom, and maybe they will give you some helpful insights as to what could cause anxiety or stress in the child. If the family has basic needs, help connect them with services within the church that can help meet them. Welcome volunteers and encourage parental involvement, especially for students who have behavioral issues.

Know when to seek professional support

Serving in children’s ministry can be deeply rewarding. Every time you see a child come to the Lord or fold their hands in prayer, you can see the actual fruit of your labor. But ministry can also be draining, especially when you’re facing challenging behavior week after week. If you find yourself constantly overwhelmed, frustrated, and dreading Sundays, it may be time to check in with your own emotional health.

There is no shame in seeking help from a licensed Christian counselor or therapist when you feel the need. They can offer you tools for managing your own stress, setting boundaries, and processing the emotional toll of ministry. Healthy leaders create healthy environments for kids to thrive in.

Oh, but it’s worth it!

Being in children’s ministry isn’t for the faint of heart, but it is for the willing, the prayerful, and the faithful. You won’t get it right every time, so don’t expect the impossible out of yourself.

Olivia might still be under the table, barking like a dog while Micah uses an entire glue stick on a single project, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t stay rooted in your calling and call upon your Heavenly Father for patience and grace. Remember that when you serve children, you’re also serving Jesus.

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” – Matthew 19:14

While you might leave the Sunday School room feeling like you’ve been to battle, remember that this struggle comes with a wonderful set of eternal rewards.