Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship Leveraging Screen Time

In our modern world, TV time often means zoning out on the couch with a remote in hand and eyes glued to the screen. Most households in the US still have a television, but what has changed considerably over the last few years is that rather than gathering around a single screen (or better yet, working to improve communication with each other), many couples now watch content on individual devices.

It’s no wonder that screen time has gotten a bad reputation as a conversation killer and an enemy of relationships. With the abundance of content available, couples might end up watching different things, which can lead to less time spent together.

In addition to multiple screens per household, many people just want to have the opportunity to relax in front of a screen after a busy day. They also don’t want to feel guilty doing it. Their guilt stems from the thought that they are choosing screens over their partner, but they lack the energy or emotional fortitude to invest time and effort into meaningful conversations and connections.

Despite all the challenges, there is real value in making the effort to watch shows or movies together. What if you could transform this chill time into an opportunity for meaningful conversation and deeper connection?

Combining TV and Conversation

While it is true that screen time should be limited to help prevent mental health issues, encourage physical fitness, and improve relationships, it’s not practical for most people to eliminate television from their lives altogether. The enemy is not necessarily the television shows themselves, but how you interact with them.

Television shows and movies can be a treasure trove of conversation starters. They present scenarios, dilemmas, and emotions that most people won’t organically encounter in their real lives. These unique scenarios can spark dialog, allowing couples to explore their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives as they work to improve communication.

Instead of letting TV time be a passive activity, it can become an engaging and enriching experience that can actually improve communication within your relationships. Co-viewing media is a great way to relax and stay connected by bringing up issues you may not otherwise discuss.

Steps to Improve Communication by Transforming TV Time to Quality Talk Time

If you enjoy chilling in front of the television with your romantic partner, use these tips to help you improve your communication while you watch.

Choose the right content

Choosing the right content can improve the chances that you and your honey will have an enjoyable and enriching experience.

• Opt for shows or movies that both partners find interesting. If you can’t settle on one show, take turns watching shows that each of you chooses.
• Consider genres that naturally promote discussion, such as documentaries, religious content, dramas, and psychological thrillers.
• Be mindful of each other’s triggers and avoid programs that might cause emotional distress for either partner.
• Research your show options prior to viewing and avoid programs that might interfere with your relationship with God or that could be disrespectful to your partner.

Set the scene

Create a cozy atmosphere for your special night of viewing. Here are some other ways to help set the scene.

• Dim the lights, grab some snacks and ensure that the environment is conducive to both watching TV and talking.
• Have pillows and blankets available to help create a cozy atmosphere.
• Make sure to eliminate distractions. Turn off phones or put them on silent to keep the focus on the shared experience.
• If you concentrate better when you’re doing something with your hands, have a fidget toy nearby.

Watch with intent

Pay attention to the plot, characters, and themes to help enhance your experience and give you more to discuss with your partner.

• Take mental notes of scenes or lines that stand out to you.
• Don’t hesitate to pause the show if something particularly noteworthy happens. Use it as a chance to discuss your immediate thoughts and reactions.
• If you have had a difficult time comprehending or following a storyline, read an overview online prior to watching the show. Just don’t spoil the fun for your partner by revealing too much information.

Non-verbal communication

You don’t have to be speaking to communicate with your partner.

• Hold hands with your partner as you watch the show. Squeeze their hand when the show gets exciting or during a scary moment.
• Cuddle together under a blanket or give your spouse a massage while you watch a show.

Dive deeper

Take a step beyond passive viewing and dig deeper into the content of the show you just watched.

• Explore themes and messages in the content. For instance, if you watched a movie about overcoming adversity, discuss how you both handle challenges in your own lives.
• Use the content as a springboard to talk about broader topics such as ethics, relationships, and societal issues.
• If you’re a movie buff, research and discuss the director or producer or some fun trivia relating to the film.

Make it fun!

Elevate your TV time by incorporating interactive games and activities that can enhance communication and bring an element of fun to your evening.

Create bingo cards with common images or events from your favorite genres of movies. For example, if you’re watching a drama, your bingo card might include a “dramatic pause” or choose to include tangible things such as red shoes or a basketball. As you watch, fill in the squares following traditional Bingo rules.

Research the show you are going to watch and be ready to quiz your partner with some fun trivia questions based on the show.

Create your own ending to the show you just watched. After the show is over, ask your partner to describe how they would have ended the show.

Conversation Starters

Here are some prompts to start a meaningful conversation with your honey. Rework these questions in your own words so the conversation doesn’t sound forced or awkward.

• Which character did you relate to the most and why?
• Do you agree with the character’s choices? What would you have done differently?
• What did you think about the plot twist? Was it predictable or surprising?
• What themes stood out to you and how do they relate to our lives?
• Did any part of the story remind you of a personal experience?
• How would you react if we were in a similar situation as the characters?
• What moral dilemmas did the characters face and how did they handle them?
• How do the decisions made in the show align or conflict with our values?

Additional Tips

Be Respectful  Ensure that both partners can speak and share thoughts. Active listening is crucial.

Stay Open-Minded Be open to differing opinions and perspectives. Healthy debates can enrich your understanding of each other.

Keep It Light While deep conversations are valuable, it’s also important to have fun. Don’t take the discussion too seriously – enjoy the process!

Don’t Jump to Conclusions If your partner says something surprising or that you disagree with, be sure to ask for clarification so no misunderstandings take root.

Make a Plan  Create a routine for regular movie nights or series marathons to help maintain your connection.

Use Media to Learn Together Choose shows or documentaries on topics you’re both interested in learning about such as travel history or science. This shared learning experience can spark interesting discussions and mutual growth.

Screen time shouldn’t be your only time of connection.

While bonding over television and other media can enrich your relationship, it shouldn’t be the only time a couple makes a meaningful connection. If you are having a difficult time connecting with your partner, consider couple’s therapy. A licensed therapist can help you unpack the positives and negatives of your relationship and help you find ways to connect in more meaningful ways.

Next Steps to Improve Communication

Television doesn’t have to be a passive activity or a relationship killer. Use your screen time as an opportunity to connect with your partner and learn to communicate in a positive and meaningful way. Agreeing on what to watch and enjoying a story together can spark meaningful conversations and create lasting memories.

Much like attending a movie in a lively theater, shared viewing experiences can make even a mediocre film more enjoyable. Even if you don’t want to talk about the show you’re watching, there is a certain degree of bonding that occurs through the shared experience. Next time you reach for the remote, remember that it’s not just about what you watch but you watch it together.

Do you and your spouse need additional help to improve your communication? Contact our office at Texas Christian Counseling to schedule an appointment with one of the Christian counselors in Texas today.