How to Strengthen Your Marriage: Christian Couples Counseling in Laredo, Texas

Looking for ways to strengthen your marriage? Married life often starts with ideas about how you will stay connected over the years. Maybe you pictured romantic dates or long, leisurely weekends spending time together. Your marriage could have started with amazing trips or adventures.

After a while, however, the responsibilities of life change. Maybe work pressures mount or you add children to the relationship. Perhaps you begin caring for an aging parent or just settling into routines that feel different from what you once imagined.

Change in relationships is inevitable. Making intentional choices to remain connected and invest in your marriage can be the thing that keeps it healthy and strong for years to come. But why does it seem so hard?

The Challenge Of Fostering A Healthy Marriage

Why is fostering a healthy marriage challenging, especially in certain seasons? Most people don’t like the answer: it takes work. And sometimes, even when you do all the things that are recommended, a marriage still faces struggles. Recognizing this from the beginning can be helpful.

While we all want a simple answer, a list of things we can do to ensure a strong, healthy marriage, the truth is that it doesn’t exist. There is no simple answer. There is no magic list. As much as we want there to be, no formula will guarantee the marriage you long for. Recognizing this is helpful.

If we understand that every marriage is different, with two unique individuals who live in specific circumstances, it frees us to let go of the idea that we have to find the secret. Instead, we can look at our situations and take small, practical steps to improve our relationships little by little.

Small steps add up

Taking small steps is the best way to make progress in marriage. While the idea that one spectacular trip will change everything is appealing, the more realistic approach is taking small steps. When we do this, we see how one small thing builds upon another and another to create a stronger relationship.

Small steps are also more attainable. It’s easier to make time for a movie night on the couch with your favorite takeout than it is to clear your schedule and arrange childcare for a week in the Caribbean. Sometimes those big things sound appealing, but making them happen feels impossible.

When things are easier, you are more likely to do them. It is better to do a few small things with your spouse than it is to wait for that big thing that will never happen. Or if it does, the results fade after only a few weeks. Consistent small steps offer consistent connection.

How To Strengthen Your Marriage

Since consistent, small steps make the biggest difference, there are plenty of ways you can invest in your marriage. Here are some suggestions for how to strengthen your marriage that will get you started on the right track.

Begin with you

This may feel counterproductive, but starting with you is foundational. This does not mean you should be self-centered, only focusing on yourself. This is about making sure you are healthy so you can offer the best to your spouse. If there are areas you feel are lacking, consider why.

Things to consider:

• When do I feel like the best version of myself? What am I doing? What makes it happen?
• How do I relax? Am I doing this regularly?
• What is one way I can care for my body, mind, and soul? Is there an area that is lacking?
• Am I getting enough sleep? If not, why?
• What do I need help with? Have I asked for help?
• What am I avoiding? Why?
• Who do I connect with outside my immediate family? Do those people encourage me in my marriage?
• Am I taking time to connect with God? If not, how can I do that?

This is not about perfection. It is about understanding yourself, taking care of yourself, and connecting with your spouse as a person with needs, feelings, and worth. When you only take care of the people around you but never take care of yourself, you run the risk of burning out.

The Bible itself is loaded with direction and command to care for ourselves. “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life,” (The Bible, Proverbs 4:23). This Scripture is stating that ABOVE ALL ELSE, we must guard ourselves. We must guard, nourish, and care for our heart because it matters to Him. He believes it is so valuable that it should be guarded above everything else. – My Counselor Online Website

Caring for ourselves is important to God and to your marriage.

Be honest and specific about your needs

In a relationship we often want people to know what we want without having to tell them. It is comforting when someone intuitively recognizes and meets our needs. While this might feel good, the likelihood of it happening successfully is minimal. It may feel uncomfortable, but the better option is honesty about what we need.

When you tell your spouse what you need, it allows them to meet that need. If, however, you never express your needs, your spouse is left to guess. The likelihood is that they will not be able to know what you want, leaving you both disappointed. Expressing your needs to your spouse in a loving, respectful way can benefit you both.

Make time to demonstrate love

In a dating relationship and early marriage, it can feel easy to show your partner that you love them. Sometimes it feels like your relationship is at the center of your universe, and everything else is insignificant. As you settle into your married life, however, that can change.

Work, household responsibilities, family, and other things demand your time and attention. As you meet those needs it can leave you feeling tired, as if you don’t have anything left to offer your partner. Feelings of resentment, frustration, or indifference toward your partner can creep in as the burdens of life take up your time and energy.

Showing your partner that they are still loved takes time and effort. Be intentional about evaluating your responsibilities to ensure you are not overburdened. It can also help to put your partner at the front of the list. While it may seem like laundry, carpooling, or yard work is demanding your attention, choosing to move your spouse to the top of your to-do list will demonstrate that you care about them.

If you feel like the responsibilities you face are taking all your time and energy, consider how you and your partner can work together to get things done so you have more time to spend together. The demands of life do not need to overshadow your relationship with your spouse. As you find ways to work together and prioritize your relationship, you will discover a marriage that makes you and your partner feel loved.

Christian Marriage Counseling In Laredo, Texas

Understanding these ideas is only part of the picture. Putting them into practice can feel more challenging. The good news is you don’t have to do it alone. Seeking help from a Christian counselor in Laredo, Texas is one of the best ways you can invest in your marriage.

A trained counselor is an impartial person that can help you and your partner uncover things that you can do to strengthen your marriage. They can help you work through conflicts and develop new routines that are better for you and your partner.

You can learn how to implement these ideas in practical ways that work for you and your spouse. A counselor at Texas Christian Counseling, Laredo can help you identify areas to work on and offer help for how to put things in place as you intentionally invest in a stronger, healthier marriage. Contact us today at Texas Christian Counseling in Laredo to get started with your spouse.