How to Stop Worrying (or Start Worrying Less)

Some things are easier said than done. Even when you know what you need to do, it’s often a monumental effort to get to the place where thought turns into action, and consistent action turns into unconscious good habit. When it comes to worrying, we can sabotage ourselves not only by worrying, but also by our attitude toward our worrying.

It’s probably safe to say that all of us worry to some extent. Some people do tend to worry more than others, and the kinds of things that worry us as individuals will vary.

Why We Worry

Even when we engage in unhealthy behaviors, we do so because there’s a thought or a feeling that we’re getting something out of it. Something is comforting about familiarity, even when that familiarity is something unhealthy. With worrying and ruminating, a person might get the sense that they’re regaining control by gaming out future possibilities. Worrying can also feel like a form of protection against and anticipation of negative outcomes.

Worrying can be a learned behavior and a way to try and cope with uncertainty. Worrying often provides catharsis or a release of pent-up emotions. Also, if a person has experienced trauma or a negative outcome in the past, that can trigger concerns about the same thing happening again, but in different circumstances. As things are uncertain in our world, worrying can feel like the responsible, loving, or caring thing to do in a given situation.

It is also important to note that even our brains are wired somewhat toward worry. Our brain’s threat response system, which includes the amygdala and hypothalamus, can trigger worrying as a response to perceived threats.

Not only that, but when you worry, you can trigger your brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine and creating a sense of temporary pleasure or relief. This means it can actually feel good to worry.

What this all adds up to is that we are somewhat wired to worry and can easily pick up habits of worrying as we see it modelled by others around us. To stop worrying, or at least to start worrying less, you have to implement active and conscious strategies to disrupt the way you typically do things. Like any new habits you’re trying to acquire, it takes time to get the hang of it and for it to become second nature.

How Worrying Affects You

Worrying can seem harmless, and sometimes it can even seem like the responsible thing to do. However, worrying isn’t the same thing as problem-solving, and when you worry, it can have a mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional impact on your well-being. With good cause, one of the repeated encouragements and commands in Scripture is “Do not worry,” and its variants “Do not be anxious” and “Do not be afraid”. Worry takes its toll on us.

Worry can be so intense that it becomes an immobilizing force in your life. The anxiety and stress that worry can induce may become overwhelming. You may have experienced a disturbed night or two filled with worry – it doesn’t solve the problem, and it leaves you feeling tired and irritable the following day, with impaired concentration and a diminished capacity to make emotionally intelligent decisions.

Worry can also affect you by eroding your self-confidence; this, in turn, can result in self-doubt and low self-esteem. When you worry, you can bring into doubt things you shouldn’t, and that includes your ability, and sometimes even goes as far as making us call the Lord’s goodness, love, and caring presence in our lives into question. This may be one reason believers ought to pray and give thanks in place of being anxious (Philippians 4:6).

When you’re worried, it also affects you physically. Worry can result in mental and physical exhaustion, digestive problems and lack of appetite, headaches and muscle pain from tension, increasing your blood pressure and your risk of cardiovascular issues, as well as a weakened immune system from an abundance of cortisol (the stress hormone). In other words, worry can literally make you sick.

Worry can also affect you in other ways by altering your behavior. For instance, when you worry, you might withdraw into yourself and away from others. If some places and situations seem to trigger your worrying, you might tend to avoid them, which limits your life and the experiences you can have. Worry can leave you isolated and alone at precisely the time when you need others around you.

Worry can also cause strain in your relationships. By interfering in your daily activities, worry can prevent you from enjoying the quality of life you and your loved ones would want for you. One unhealthy way to cope with worry is to turn to substance abuse, but that only causes even more problems, such as addiction and deterioration of health down the line.

How to Stop Worrying

It’s unhelpful to be told to “just stop” doing something. Habits take a long time to break, and even when they may be harmful, they have the appearance of providing some sort of utility. It takes a new, more powerful, and attractive habit to expel the old one.

Simply stopping worrying entirely might be a bit unrealistic, as it’s naturally how we tend to respond to uncertainty. Even though you might not just stop worrying all of a sudden, you can learn to manage and reduce how much you worry. Here are some mental, emotional, and other strategies to help you stop worrying, or at least to help you start worrying less:

Disrupt negative thoughts Your thoughts don’t have to stand unchallenged; in fact, many of your thoughts need to be taken captive and subjected to the Lordship of Jesus. It’s possible to identify and challenge catastrophic, unrealistic, or negative thoughts that fuel your worries. Instead of worrying, submit your worries to the Lord through prayer and thanksgiving (Philippians 4:4-7).

You can also disrupt negative thoughts about the future by learning to focus on the present. Negative thoughts can also be disrupted by considering more realistic and balanced thoughts. Instead of thinking your life is over because of a bad date or job interview, for instance, consider that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, NIV).

Take self-care seriously Worry affects your body as much as it affects your mind. You can practice deep breathing when you feel worry pressing in. It will help you by slowing your heart rate and calming you.

Doing regular exercise will also help you reduce worry and anxiety while elevating your mood. Self-care could also include doing the things that help you unwind, like listening to music or walking in nature.

Part of self-care in the 21st century must include taking breaks from your technology. Be intentional about disconnecting from social media, as that can be a huge source of worry and stress. Instead, use the time to journal or to practice gratitude “in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV).

Set realistic goals Sometimes we worry because the tasks we need to accomplish seem large and unwieldy. Instead of taking on everything at once, which can be overwhelming, take steps to break down larger tasks and objectives into smaller, manageable ones. Take the time to focus on one task at a time, checking it off when you complete it.

Seek help Thoughts can overwhelm you when you consider them in isolation. Loved ones can help you nurture a different perspective on things or reframe negative thoughts to look at situations as opportunities instead of as obstacles.

Having support can help you feel less isolated. You can also seek professional help from a counselor. Your counselor can help you deal with worry by providing you with effective coping strategies and techniques. You can learn to identify the things that trigger your worry and find ways to turn worrying into problem-solving.

To learn more and find the support you need, contact our office today.