Children’s Mental Health: How to Support Your Child

Early experiences lay the foundation children’s mental health. Children who grow up in stable, loving, nurturing homes are more likely to develop the strength and resilience they need to cope with whatever life throws at them and to grow up to be balanced, well-rounded adults. By contrast, children who are exposed to stress-inducing experiences early in life are more likely to develop mental health problems that harm their behavior and emotions.

Basic needs that promote children’s mental health

Unconditional love

Children need to feel loved, secure, and accepted, regardless of any mistakes they may make.

A safe and secure home

Children need to feel safe and secure. When they are afraid, it is important to find out what is frightening them and to respond in a loving, reassuring way.

Bolstering confidence and self-esteem

Children’s confidence and self-esteem grow when you set realistic goals for them and praise them not only for their successes but recognize their efforts as well. Encourage your child to try new things and to focus on enjoying the process rather than on whether they win or lose.

Encouraging words

Keep the lines of communication open between you and your child and let them know they can talk to you about anything. Listen to what they have to say and respect their feelings. When they fail or make mistakes, don’t be harsh or critical, but rather, reassure them with encouraging statements such as, “It’s okay. We all make mistakes,” or “Try again. You’ll do better next time.”

Positive role models

Parents can promote good mental health by modeling healthy coping skills, as well as through the environment they create in the home. Children learn how to handle stress and treat other people, by imitating what they see and hear their parents do.

Playtime and family activities

Children need time to play.

It allows them to use their imaginations, be creative, learn problem-solving skills, discover their strengths and weaknesses, and learn how to get along with others. Physical activities that involve running, skipping, or jumping, can provide needed physical exercise as well as a healthy outlet for pent-up energy.

Positive experiences at school

School is a place where children learn to be independent, gain new skills, and make new friends. Encouraging teachers can make all the difference when it comes to nurturing a child’s curiosity and eagerness to learn.

Appropriate guidance and discipline

Rules and boundaries help children feel safe and secure. They need to learn that certain behaviors are unacceptable and that they are responsible for the consequences of their actions. Guidance and discipline should be fair and consistent, and parents need to set a good example. Criticize the behavior, not the child.

Traits of good children’s mental health.

• They are resilient and can bounce back when faced with tough times.
• They are optimistic.
• They feel happy and self-confident most of the time.
• They enjoy life.
• They get along well with family and friends.
• They feel as though they belong.
• They have good self-esteem.
• They can think clearly and learn new skills.
• They can cope with stress.

Risk factors that can lead to children’s mental health problems.

• Traumatic events such as the death of someone close, parents’ divorce or separation, or domestic violence.
• Physical or sexual abuse.
• Neglect.
• Bullying.
• Major life changes such as moving, the birth of a new sibling, and changing schools.
• Family history of mental health or substance abuse problems.
• Poverty and/or homelessness.
• Problems at school.

How to know if your child has a mental health problem.

Children often have ups and downs that affect how they feel and behave, but it’s when they don’t bounce back that there’s cause for concern. Children’s mental health problems usually manifest as changes in their thinking, feeling, and/or behavior that last longer than two weeks, and that interfere with their ability to function well at home or in school. Noticing just one or two of the changes listed below does not necessarily mean that your child has a mental health problem.

Changes in thinking.

• Trouble concentrating.
• Changes in school performance, such as a drop in grades or skipping classes.
• Frequent negative thoughts.
• Saying negative things about themselves.
• Talking about suicide or doing themselves harm.

Changes in feelings.

• Persistent sadness.
• Reactions that seem out of proportion to the situation.
• Long-lasting negative moods.
• Excessive worry, fear, and/or irritability.

Changes in behavior.

• Nervous habits such as nail biting, thumb sucking, or twisting hair.
• Wanting to be left alone.
• Loss of interest in sports and other activities they used to enjoy.
• Avoiding social interactions.
• Frequent fits of anger or crying.
• Inability to cope with daily problems.
• Changes in sleeping and/or eating habits.
• Frequent headaches or stomachaches.
• Persistent nightmares or night terrors.
• Persistent disobedience or aggressive behavior.
• Frequent temper tantrums.

What to do if you think your child’s mental health is in trouble

• If the signs have lasted for more than a few weeks, schedule an appointment with a trained mental health professional as soon as possible.
• Learn all you can about your child’s mental health condition.
• Keep a diary of your child’s behavior and when and where symptoms occur so you can identify the triggers and help him or her cope. You can also use it to track their progress and see if they are moving forward or backward.
• Acknowledge and celebrate any positive progress. Providing positive feedback when your child does something well will reinforce the behavior and encourage them to repeat it.
• Recognize and encourage your child’s strengths and positive qualities and let them know how amazing they are.
• Children need to feel safe and secure. Let your child know you love him or her no matter what.
• Create a supportive environment for your child. Regularly ask them how they feel, and spend time doing enjoyable activities together.
• Encourage your child to talk to you about the things that concern them, and really listen to what they say. Let them know they can come to you with any issue or problem. Show that you understand and care.
• Acknowledge and respect your child’s feelings without judging them or overreacting, and avoid getting angry with them for behavior they are unable to control.
• It is important for your child to know what is expected of them. Creating a routine for them to follow at home and setting clear boundaries can minimize their stress and anxiety.
• Without assistance, children with mental health problems may struggle in school and get stressed and frustrated. Talk with your child’s school to make them aware of their diagnosis and to ensure your child receives the appropriate attention and services available to accommodate his or her needs.
• Get your family involved in advocating for your child.
• Make sure your child is eating nutritious food, staying active, and getting the amount of sleep they need. Good physical health positively impacts children’s mental health.

If you are concerned about your child’s emotional and mental health, please contact one of the faith-based counselors in our online counselor directory today. We would be happy to answer any questions you have or set up an appointment to meet with you and your child.