Living Well in the Shadow of Social Anxiety Disorder
Allison Hayes
There is beauty in relationships between people that can be hard to put into words. We are at our most human when we are in thriving relationships with others, and that is hardwired into us as deeply relational creatures. This makes it all the more unsettling when social interactions with others are themselves a source of discomfort. This is part is what happens with social anxiety disorder.
Millions of Americans, and many others outside of the US, have social anxiety disorder. According to some reports, around 7% of Americans, and that’s approximately 15 million people, are diagnosed with social anxiety disorder every year. You or someone in your life may be dealing with social anxiety, and it helps to know what it is, its symptoms, and the treatments available so that you can get the help you need.
Defining Social Anxiety Disorder

The fear that a person feels when they are socially anxious resides in the possibility that they may act in a way that others will evaluate negatively. No one wants to be thought of as clumsy, inarticulate, or lacking wit. If these feelings are heightened, you can become sensitive to everything you say and do, and even a slight misstep can result in feelings of rejection, humiliation, or embarrassment.
Social anxiety disorder can be quite distressing, and one of the unforeseen consequences of it is that it can lead to the social impairment it seeks to avoid, whether at work, in social settings, or other areas of life. Small social faux pas can feel huge, leading to distress and the symptoms that typically accompany anxiety.
Signs and Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder
We all feel a bit anxious in one situation or another. For some, first date territory is tricky, and it can be a cause for anxiety. Others don’t enjoy giving presentations with a lot on the line, and there are many other situations you can think of that may trigger anxiety. It’s important to recognize the signs of social anxiety disorder, as that may represent a step toward healing. Being able to name what’s happening makes a difference.
Some of the common signs of social anxiety disorder include an avoidance of social situations or situations in which one has to perform. It also includes an intense fear of being negatively evaluated or judged in those situations. Social anxiety disorder might make it hard to make eye contact with others or speak in public. You may feel anticipatory anxiety, which is when you feel anxious and dread upcoming social events for days or weeks beforehand.
Other signs include being excessively self-conscious and being afraid of appearing anxious in public. A person with social anxiety also tends to overanalyze social interactions after the fact, with a huge focus on perceived or real mistakes made during those interactions. Social anxiety disorder is often accompanied by low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, and difficulty asserting oneself or expressing personal opinions, whether to agree or disagree.
Social anxiety disorder might also be signaled by a rigid body posture, being inclined to speak briefly or as little as possible in social settings, and physical symptoms of anxiety such as sweating, trembling, a rapid heartbeat, dizziness, nausea, blushing, or shortness of breath.
The symptoms of social anxiety disorder are disruptive in everyday circumstances, and they persist over an extended period. It’s important to speak with a mental health professional for a proper diagnosis of social anxiety disorder.
Social Anxiety Disorder Day-To-Day
What does it look like to live with social anxiety disorder from day to day? The effects of social anxiety vary from person to person, but it typically makes daily life feel overwhelming. That’s because things that most people would consider ‘simple’, like talking to the doctor, saying “Hello” to the neighbor, raising a concern during a meeting, or participating in Bible study discussions, stir up intense discomfort and evoke intense feelings of fear.
Social anxiety disorder can affect every aspect of a person’s life, from their work or spiritual life to their personal relationships. A student might struggle to participate in class discussions, thereby missing growth opportunities, and potentially leading to poor performance. Not speaking up in a work context could result in an inability to network or share ideas with team members, hindering progress toward team or career goals.
In personal relationships, social anxiety disorder can make it harder to date, build and maintain friendships, and connect with loved ones. Daily activities and tasks like ordering food, getting help at the store, or making phone calls can be a daunting exercise, and it can lead to social withdrawal.
Lastly, social anxiety disorder can also prevent someone from fully immersing themselves in practices such as Bible study groups, volunteering, or ministering to others in their local church. This can limit opportunities for personal spiritual growth and service to others. Social anxiety often results in isolation, missed personal and professional opportunities, and can even result in strained relationships with loved ones.
Overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder
Social anxiety disorder is a complex mental health condition that comes about from a combination of biological and environmental factors, such as having a family history of it. Having a temperament that tends toward being shy or withdrawn can also make a person more prone to it. A person’s brain structure may also play a role, as an overactive amygdala can lead to a heightened fear response in social situations.
Other factors matter, like having traumatic or embarrassing experiences, especially in childhood. This includes being bullied or rejected, or having a condition or appearance that draws negative attention from others. These can increase a person’s self-consciousness and their anxiety when they are in social situations. How does one overcome social anxiety disorder?
There are ways to both manage and overcome social anxiety; you can live well even though you struggle with social situations. Some of the ways to deal effectively with social anxiety disorder include the following:
Lifestyle changes Symptoms of anxiety are often connected to stress. Taking steps such as getting regular exercise or physical activity, getting good sleep each night, and practicing relaxation techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, or visualization can help alleviate the symptoms of anxiety.
Seeking strength in the Lord Your anxieties are rooted in many things, including your biology, past experiences, learned behaviors, and patterns of thinking you adopt as ways to cope. For a believer, seeking strength in the Lord and having your mind renewed, challenging ideas about yourself, and being rooted in a community of faith can provide you with the encouragement and strength you need to face each day.
You are not alone, and connecting with the Lord and His people can be a good reminder of that. It’s especially helpful to be reminded of the gospel, of how you’re accepted and loved by the Lord because of what Jesus did for you on the cross, and to be reminded that you have a purpose along with God’s holy people (Ephesians 2:1-10; Psalm 139).
Seeking professional help Social anxiety disorder can be crippling, and finding help from a professional can provide you with the tools you need to cope. There are support groups that can help foster a sense of belonging, a shared safe space where you can share your experiences and be encouraged by (and be an encouragement to) others.
Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) help you to discern, challenge, and reframe negative thought patterns that reinforce the social anxiety. Doing so can help you gradually face the situations you’re afraid of with greater confidence.
There are also medications, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which in some cases may be prescribed to help manage your symptoms, and these must always be taken and used under the guidance of a healthcare professional. Medication and therapy are used together to help you cope better with anxiety.
Anxiety can keep you from so much, and it can feel like an unscalable mountain. However, it’s possible to grow and overcome unhelpful patterns of thought and behavior, and to become more comfortable in your own skin.
God is able, and through the means He has provided in Scripture, prayer, and the wisdom from mental health professionals, you can find thrive in social situations. Reach out to our office today to begin that journey with one of the Christian counselors in our network.
Photos:
“Comfort”, Courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Overwhelmed”, Courtesy of Nik Shuliahin, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Patience”, Courtesy of Umit Bulut, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Bible Study”, Courtesy of Daiga Ellaby, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License