Maintaining Well-Being Through the Holidays

The holiday season is approaching with a time of new and old traditions. Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate the harvest and abundance with gratitude and Thanksgiving. Christmas signifies rejoicing in the birth of the Savior, and the season culminates by ringing in the new year with hope and promise for the year to come.

It is a joyous time of wonder, excitement, and anticipation – a true Hallmark moment. But underneath the gatherings of family, friends, and coworkers, surrounded by the sights and smells of the season – turkey roasting or freshly baked cookies, decorations, and lights – there is a plethora of obligations and commitments coupled with complicated or strained relationships that can make a person feel overwhelmed.

This level of stress leads to or exposes a range of emotions and feelings. Maybe sadness from longing for something you never had in a relationship? Mental and physical exhaustion from the busyness? Tension from challenging relationships? Anger from being let down once again by a family member or friend? Or longings or painful memories from childhood.

How do we maintain our mental well-being during the holidays? First, mental well-being needs to be defined. According to the American Psychological Association, well-being is a state of happiness and contentment, with low levels of distress, overall good physical and mental health and outlook, or good quality of life.

Mental well-being is subjective. Good mental well-being affects how we think, act, and feel and determines how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.

To maintain your mental well-being, you must be aware and mindful of the struggles and stressors that the holidays bring. Equipping yourself before the holidays allows you to enjoy or simply navigate the festivities more thoroughly. Amid the hustle and bustle of the season, here are some tips for maintaining your mental well-being.

Self-Care

Sometimes, we need a breather, a time to catch our breaths and regroup. Often, we must be intentional as we allow the busyness of life to fill our days. Taking time for ourselves is problematic on a normal day, and then we add all the “things” of the holidays. We believe we don’t have time to set aside for ourselves, but making time for self-care will reap its rewards by clearing the mind and refreshing the soul.

Self-care looks different for each person. Some enjoy a hot bath (my go-to), while others read a book, walk, listen to worship music, exercise, or nap. Whatever it takes to be able to unplug for a time to recharge. Just as your phone needs to be recharged to function correctly, so does your mind and body.

Depending on your season of life, self-care may be a cup of coffee for fifteen minutes while the kids nap, or you may be afforded an hour or two if your nest is empty. But whatever amount of time or activity you choose, you must be intentional, making it a part of your routine.

Jesus calls us to rest in Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” In those quiet, stolen moments alone, pray and connect with Him. He will give you strength and guidance, especially if you are overwhelmed or facing a difficult situation.

Allowing time for self-care helps maintain well-being by clearing the mind and refreshing the soul.

Prioritize engagements

When we hit November, the calendar begins to fill with parties, plays, dinners, etc. Deciding early which activities are essential to you and your family helps you navigate the barrage of activities. We feel pulled in various directions to do “all the things,” and we develop a sense of obligation. Ask yourself why you are attending. Is it something I need to do or want to do?

Remember that even if the activities are positive and enjoyable, too many are not always good. Overextending yourself often means sacrificing something else, like self-care, time away from family, or lack of sleep, which may impact your productivity at home and work.

It is okay to say no, but be kind and inform the person in a timely fashion. Consider the preparation a party requires and how helpful it is to know how many will attend. This goes a long way toward preventing hurt from lack of communication.

How you live, your personality, and the personality of your marriage will determine what the holidays encompass. Be intentional not to compare your ability to commit to others’ ability to commit, as your personalities and lifestyles differ.

Deciding which activities are essential and how many to attend at the beginning of the season helps maintain mental well-being by reducing stress.

Preparing for Difficulties

You will inevitably encounter a difficult situation, person, or relationship during the holidays. Why would that differ from day to day? The holidays create environments where we see people we don’t usually see or spend more time with people we struggle with. It is not necessarily the time to mend a relationship that has unresolved issues.

While there could be an opportunity, it is rare for reconciliation or repair to occur during the season’s busyness. Controlling or fixing another person is impossible, but you must behave in a Christ-like way, regardless.

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus. – Romans 15:5, ESV

Examine your heart – is it hardened? Are you angry or resentful? Will being around this person trigger unwanted thoughts and emotions? You can adjust your attitude by accepting the person as they are and not allowing them to affect you, or guard yourself by setting boundaries. Setting boundaries can be challenging, but it is necessary to protect yourself. They can range from not being around the person at all to limiting your time or exposure.

Actively trying to understand your stressors and adjust your attitude or creating boundaries will help your mental well-being.

Grace Upon Grace

Keep yourself open to seeing other people’s stories. We often get frustrated with others’ responses and actions, especially during the holidays. With so much going on, we usually focus on what we need to accomplish. Take time to pause and think about why you are upset or frustrated.

If you find yourself complaining and frustrated in a store because there are too many people and it is taking forever, you blame the workers. Examine yourself. Does the worker cause frustration, or is it due to you being overcommitted or not planning well?

Also, consider the other person – what is going on with them that may cause them to be less than cordial? Rude customers, maybe they, too, are feeling overwhelmed or overworked. We need to have grace for ourselves and others.

For from his fullness, we have all received, grace upon grace. – John 1:16, ESV

God has given us an overflowing gift of His grace. Grace is defined as undeserved favor freely given to us. As we are given grace, we should also bestow grace on others.

I…urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. – Ephesians 4:1-3, ESV

And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. – Luke 6:31, ESV

Having grace for yourself and others will help with your mental well-being.

Realistic Expectations

Be realistic in that no family is perfect, and situations may arise. Do not set yourself up for heartache. Suppose seventy-six-year-old Aunt Matilda has a habit of making you uncomfortable with inappropriate comments. Why would this year be any different? If you have not talked with her about her behavior, or if you have and she ignores your request, you have a choice – set a boundary or prepare yourself for the unwanted comment.

Ask yourself what expectations you have for the holidays. What can you control? What is out of your control?

Accept that the pie may get overbaked, family members may get sick, they can’t come to this year’s gathering, or the perfect gift you ordered will not arrive until January. Problems will arise. If you hold tightly to the ideal outcome, you will be disappointed. Hoping for the best but being okay with it when things don’t go as planned will help you maintain your mental well-being.

Let’s agree that none of us need to be Clark Griswold.

Focus on the Meaning of the Holidays

In all the activities, we often lose sight of the why of the holidays. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on God’s goodness, examine what we have, and be thankful.

The true meaning of Christmas, the birth of a Savior, brought to Earth for us to save us from our sins, is often overshadowed by the tinsel and presents. Focus on the awe and majesty of our Lord, who was born of a virgin. He is our Redeemer and Counselor.

New Year’s Eve rings in a new year and allows us to reflect on the Lord’s goodness with the promise and hope of what will come in the new year.

Heading into the holidays, develop a mindset to focus on Him. Enjoy the traditions, good food, and gatherings, but be mindful of our Creator and all He has done and continues to do for us. Enter into a time of prayer and worship, studying God’s Word, and enjoying communion with other believers.

When you focus on the Lord during the holiday season, He will help you maintain your mental well-being.

Next Steps

Keep in mind these steps to help you maintain well-being through the holidays.

• Allowing time for self-care helps maintain well-being by clearing the mind and refreshing the soul.
• Deciding which activities are essential and how many to attend at the beginning of the season helps maintain mental well-being by reducing stress.
• Having grace for yourself and others will help your mental well-being.
• Developing realistic expectations that issues may arise and things may not go as planned helps maintain your mental well-being.
• When you focus on the Lord during the holiday season, He will help you maintain your mental well-being.

To prevent yourself from being stretched beyond capacity, as perhaps in previous years, consider the words of King Solomon:

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. – Proverbs 4:23, ESV

While it is impossible to foresee what will occur over the holidays, apply these survival tips to help maintain mental well-being. If you struggle to navigate your thoughts and emotions, consider enlisting the help of a counselor. Sometimes, you need a different perspective or someone who will listen well.