Signs of Anger: Issues to Notice and Address

God created us as emotional beings. These emotions range from deep joy to sorrow, surprise to anticipation, courage to fear, confidence to shame, and calmness to anger. Emotions are a part of who we are and how we interact with others.

Anger is a passionate response to a real or perceived wrong that can be constructive or destructive. Constructively, some may experience anger in the face of injustice in which there is a natural response to defend good and attack evil, but destructively, when anger is explosive, uncontrolled, and irrational, it can cause hurt and pain and ruin relationships.

Anger can range from blinding rage at being wrongfully terminated from a job to mild irritation at not getting a timely response from a text or perhaps feelings of bitterness or resentment at a colleague in the workplace. Anger can show up in all sorts of ways.

Anger Issues Explored

Anger itself is not sinful, but as stated in Ephesians 4:26-27 (TPT), “Don’t let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin! Don’t let anger control you or be fuel for revenge, not for even a day. Don’t give the slanderous accuser, the Devil, an opportunity to manipulate you!” The problem occurs when the emotion of anger results in detrimental actions.

A person can be said to have anger issues if anger is an emotion that dominates their life in one way or another. Additionally, someone may be said to have anger issues if:

• They have persistent patterns of anger that they have difficulty managing.
• They struggle to express anger in a healthy way.
• Their Anger affects or interferes with their daily life.
• Their feelings of anger cause harm or distress to them and others around them.

It’s not always easy to discern anger issues as anger and angry reactions become part of who you are, and the people around you adjust themselves. They may walk on eggshells around you or quickly yield to you if conflict is on the horizon. Also, you may stop noticing that you’re angry, but even though you stop being aware of your anger, that doesn’t mean it isn’t causing harm to you or others around you.

Some Reasons Why People Have Anger Issues

Anger issues arise from a complex interaction of factors. These factors include the environment a person grew up in and their experiences, which can significantly influence behavior. For instance, if a person experiences trauma or learns and imitates angry behavior from parents, that could lead to anger issues. Also, having unprocessed emotions from grief or past trauma can lead to anger issues.

Other reasons for anger issues may be related to personality and temperament. Traits such as perfectionism, low self-worth, emotional reactiveness, and competitiveness can all contribute to a person’s struggle with anger issues. Some people are more easily angered due to imbalances in their neurotransmitters or abnormalities in their amygdala, the part of the brain that controls and processes our emotions.

Conditions like depression, anxiety, and personality disorders can also contribute to anger issues. Anger issues may also be the result of life experiences such as conflict, abandonment, and rejection in significant relationships, chronic work-related stress or burnout, and health issues like chronic pain. If a person is also sleep deprived or lacks social support, that might also result in anger issues.

Being Alert for Signs of Anger Issues

At times, anger is evident, as when we see someone expressing their anger outwardly by shouting, hitting, threatening, cursing, or letting their rage explode. We are reasonably confident that they are angry. Surely, they aren’t in control of that anger.

However, anger issues can also manifest in unexpected and surprising ways. People can handle their anger in a myriad of ways, which some can often overlook or not see as anger. Paying attention to these more dramatic signs of anger is important. Some to look out for include:

Self-pity, which includes feeling entitled as well as feeling victimized by others

Resentment, or holding onto past hurts and dwelling on the things you begrudge others

Being passive-aggressive, or indirectly showing your anger through actions like sulking or giving others the silent treatment.

Being hypersensitive, through overreacting when you face criticisms or minor setbacks

Procrastination, by avoiding decisions or tasks because of feelings of underlying anger

Self-sabotage, undermining your relationships or even your personal goals due to feelings of anger

Physical symptoms include digestive issues, insomnia, chronic pain or inflammation, tension headaches, or muscle tension.

Being defensive, either by being dismissive of others and their concerns or by becoming overly protective

Minimizing where you find yourself downplaying the effects and impact of your anger on yourself or other people

Blame-shifting, when you don’t take accountability for your anger or go so far as to attribute your anger to other people.

Ruminating or dwelling on scenarios or thoughts that inspire anger

Social isolation, or withdrawing from other people because of feelings of frustration or anger

Controlling behavior, such as micromanaging other people and their behavior, then angrily reacting when they don’t adhere to your script

Avoiding conflict, like not wanting to confront others or have difficult conversations with them because of your potential angry reaction to them. This can also include being a people-pleaser to avoid conflict.

Everyone experiences and expresses anger differently; some signs may be subtle or masked.

The Impact of Anger Issues

When a person has anger issues, it can have a profoundly negative impact on their life and well-being. Anger is a powerful emotion that can overtake you and lead to unwise decisions. For one thing, anger can prevent you from listening well to others and get in the way of loving others.

James 1:19-20 (TPT) reminds us “to be quick to listen, but slow to speak. And be slow to become angry, for human anger is never a legitimate tool to promote God’s righteous purpose.” It is essential to manage anger for the sake of your relationships.

The Lord designed us to have various emotions and emotional experiences. Having anger issues can affect your emotional well-being by making you emotionally reactive. You may feel guilt or shame when you realize what you said and did out of anger. You may also criticize yourself for your actions, resulting in self-doubt or a negative self-image.

If anger dominates you, it can also affect your relationships. Uncontrolled anger may lead to frequent arguments and strained relationships with loved ones. It can affect healthy parenting if you have children. Furthermore, it can lead to social isolation and difficulty maintaining relationships. It may even affect your ability to be vulnerable and intimate with others.

Anger issues can also affect your physical health. Because of anger issues, you’ll be at greater risk of health concerns such as insomnia, tension headaches, hypertension, and heart disease, and digestive problems like acid reflux or irritable bowel syndrome. Your mental health is also at risk, as you may be more susceptible to anxiety disorders and depression.

In everyday life, anger issues may affect you by decreasing your productivity and ability to function well in teams. Not having anger under control can diminish your ability to function well in public and social situations, leading to further social isolation. You could damage your career and lose relationships because of anger issues.

Effective Strategies for Addressing Anger Issues

Anger may be an unwanted presence in your life, but the good news is that your anger can be controlled and used to serve a proper function. If you struggle with managing your anger or with expressing it in ways that are respectful toward others, know that help is available. Your anger can be successfully managed, and its effects can be mitigated.

Effective strategies, such as mindfulness and relaxation techniques, teach you to calm down before anger overtakes you. Therapy can help you understand your anger better and learn ways to manage it effectively. Exercising and physical activity may also curb anger and bring it under control.

Through therapy, you can learn better self-awareness and emotional self-regulation. Your therapist can help you understand the roots of your anger and provide you with tools to bring your anger under control. If you are ready to seek help, call our offices today. We will set up an appointment with one of the skilled Christian counselors in our practice.