How to Help a Loved One Who is Battling Anxiety

There are a lot of times in your life when you will feel helpless. You know that helpless feeling when you hear a baby crying on a plane, and you’re unable to soothe them, or when a neighbor’s dog slips off their leash, but you’re too far away to do anything about it.

But watching someone you love struggle with anxiety? That can be one of the most frustratingly helpless feelings of all. It’s not always easy to understand what they’re going through or even how to support them without potentially making matters worse. You sit there, nervously trying to think of what to say or do to possibly solve the problem and bring them relief, which seems sadly elusive.

What to do when a loved one has anxiety?

Your love for the person with anxiety not only makes you a good candidate for being supportive, but it also makes you susceptible to frustration. But in those moments when you feel unable to help them, remember that you don’t have to fix their anxiety. Thankfully, that is not your job. Your role is much simpler than that. As simple as it may sound, all you need to do is walk beside them.

Listen without trying to fix it

While helplessness might be weighing heavily on you, causing you a great deal of anxiety and grief, the good news is that your loved one might not want you to do anything at all. While you might feel compelled to “fix” the problem, keep in mind that sometimes people with anxiety just need to feel heard.

Put away distractions like your phone, to-do lists, and even your own anxieties, and make space for them to be honest without fear of judgment. They may not be able to say exactly what is causing them to feel the way they do or what is triggering panic, because, frankly, they might not even know themselves. But when you listen without judging or interrupting them when they talk, you are offering them a safe place to unpack their heavy emotional baggage.

You might hear them say things that sound irrational or overly negative. That’s part of anxiety’s ugly grip. As natural as it might be to feel anxiety over what you can’t do, don’t panic; just listen. When they say, “I can’t stop thinking about” or “I’m scared,” resist the natural urge to attempt to fix the problem. Instead, tell them that you’re sorry they’re going through it and acknowledge that you understand the issue, at least at some level.

Encourage them to hold on to truth

Anxiety is a big fat liar. It lies about inadequacies, fear of the future, and feelings of worthlessness. As a Christian, you have the unique opportunity to point your loved one toward the One who can supernaturally intervene on their behalf.

Verses like Philippians 4:6-7 remind us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (NIV).

You don’t have to preach to them or lecture. Instead, share these truths in a way you’re comfortable with. Maybe read a Psalm or send a Scripture in an encouraging text. Reminding them that God is in control and has their best interest at heart can bring peace and healing. Maybe invite them to church or a Bible study to help them connect with God in a concrete way. The method you choose is not important. What is important is that you remind them to connect with their Heavenly Father, who can heal them of their anxiety.

Trust the long game

As frustrating as waiting can be, anxiety doesn’t abide by a set schedule or pattern, nor does it adhere to a circled date on a calendar. There is typically no dramatic countdown to healing, and sometimes the road to recovery from anxiety can even, frustratingly, go backwards.

You might see your loved one make progress one day by getting out of the house, laughing again, or having a glimmer of hope, but the next day, all that light seems to have disappeared. That’s an unfortunate, but normal occurrence for those who suffer from anxiety.

To truly be an advocate for a loved one with anxiety, you have to release the idea of waiting for a finish line and realize that daily grace is what truly helps. Walk beside them and trust God to work even when you can’t see it.

Practical support

Another frustrating aspect of anxiety is seeing your loved one avoid social events, have trouble sleeping, or even feel overwhelmed by everyday tasks. To support them means respecting their pace, even when it’s difficult.

Pressuring them to “just get over it” or “snap out of it” usually does the opposite of your intention. It might send them into deeper isolation when they feel judged or confronted. Instead, ask them what they need. Maybe they are craving a coffee date, need a prayer partner who commits to praying regularly, or maybe all they need is a text to remind them that they are loved.

Another way to be a practical help to someone with anxiety is to encourage healthy habits without being pushy. Help them engage in regular exercise, form good sleep habits, and spend time outdoors. Each of these things has been known to help ease anxiety. Deliver these suggestions with compassion and not a controlling spirit. Suggest going for a walk together or offer to help them with errands when their energy levels feel low.

Encourage professional help

Despite your best efforts, there may be a point where your support isn’t quite enough to help your loved one overcome anxiety, even though you have tried your best. Guilt may reign in those moments, as you may feel as if you’ve failed, but this is where professional therapy can step in and help.

If anxiety is controlling your loved one’s life, keeping them from work, isolating them from family, or preventing daily functioning, encourage them to seek professional help. As a Christian, you can help to normalize therapy by reminding your loved one that God uses many tools, including counselors, to help bring resolution.

Offer to help them find a skilled Christian counselor, go with them to appointments if they want, or simply be their cheerleader from the sidelines as they take bold, practical steps toward recovery.

Guard your own heart

Walking with someone through anxiety can be hard. It can leave you feeling drained, helpless, and frustrated. That’s why it is important not to neglect your own spiritual and emotional well-being in the process of helping your loved one.

One way to do this is to keep your prayer life alive and stay connected to your church family. Talk with a trusted friend or therapist about your own feelings and remember that your love may not have limits, but your time should.

Anxiety is a bold and insidious beast that tries to isolate its victims, silence their voices, and tell them damning lies. And while you might feel helpless when you see a loved one falling into anxiety’s ugly snare, realize that you indeed are not responsible, but you are not powerless either.

Being God’s hands and feet doesn’t always mean fixing the problem (or even being able to). Gently reminding those suffering from anxiety about God’s unfailing love and mighty power, even when they can’t feel it, can be the sincerest form of love and can empower both you and them in the battle against anxiety.

To find help for yourself so that you can better support your friend with anxiety, contact our office today.