Aging and Isolation: How to Prevent Loneliness

When you think about getting older, your first thoughts may be based on fear and dread. For example, you may have concerns regarding rising healthcare costs, physical ailments, slowing down, losing loved ones, or getting left behind from the metaphorical rivers of life. However, while those concerns are real and important, elderly people often develop full, meaningful, and fun lives.

One of the key strategies to creating an abundant and fulfilling life as we age is to navigate isolation and, therefore, loneliness. While we can’t skip the natural ebb and flow of life’s highs and lows, we can safeguard ourselves from loneliness by making intentional choices.

Ways to Guard Against Loneliness as You Approach Aging

First, the most important way to prevent loneliness involves surrounding yourself with meaningful relationships. This may mean looking at your current relationships to see if they are serving you well, or even considering moving closer to family and friends. It may also mean moving to a community where there are many others in your age range.

To form friendships and relationships that are meaningful and that can stand the test of time, it’s important to make sure you know how to build new ones.

So, before you make any sweeping changes in your geography, ask yourself these questions:

• Am I around enough people I enjoy and with whom I could begin new friendships?
• Do I like the people I’ve surrounded myself with?
• Are the people in my everyday life leading a lifestyle that allows for hobbies and time with friends or are they too busy?
• If my top two friends right now were to move away or, sadly, pass away, would I have others nearby with whom I could deepen friendships or familial relationships?
• Are there community resources where I can turn to make new friends (such as senior events in my town, a community center for seniors, and a high ratio of citizens in my age bracket)?
• If I live near family right now, how willing are they to involve me in their lives? Do they lead such a fast-paced lifestyle that it’s getting tough to find a space for me or have my voice heard?

Once you’ve thought about your geography and whether there are enough people to regularly spend time with, it’s time to look at the kinds of relationships you want to develop, meaning, it’s important to build relationships that matter to you. You may have friends you play cards with or friends that are tennis buddies, but you also need to spend time with people that you have deeper relationships with.

Think about the kinds of friends you need in life. Maybe you need a fun friend who is willing to go on adventures. Or perhaps you’d like a faith-based friend with whom you can share meaningful Scripture and prayer requests. It could even be that your proverbial friend bucket is full, and you would love to play a larger role in the lives of your grandchildren.

Discovering what’s most important to you and how you want to spend your time is also important. You may even want to enlist the help of a professional counselor who can ask deep questions about where you find fulfillment, what you’ve experienced in life, and what part of your background would be beneficial as you head into or continue in this new phase of life.

Additionally, thinking through how you want to spend your time, as well as considering your availability will help you develop a realistic view of what you can and cannot commit to with friendships and familial relationships.

Or, if you decide to move to a new city, that means taking a chance on a new community and saying goodbye to an old one. If you decide to try a new hobby, volunteer, or get a part-time job, you’ve taken risks to start or try something new that you may not be 100% skilled in right from the start.

Risks can be internal or external, but they may involve a time of grieving, a time of waiting, and a time of hope.

A Growth Mindset

Even though the idea of aging can be scary, you can choose to see it from a growth mindset. A growth mindset means flipping the script on the narrative we tell ourselves from the negative to the positive. For example, instead of telling yourself that your body is falling apart and you can’t do many things like you used to, you can focus on and be grateful for what you are still able to do and accomplish.

A new narrative – one with a growth mindset – may be that you discuss health issues, simply because that’s part of your life, but also talk about good things such as new interests, new activities, and things that you love.

You can also approach aging with a growth mindset by not ignoring where you are in the process. Maybe you are grieving the loss of friendships or having good health. That’s natural. You can often work through this grief by journaling, lamenting the season, and/or enlisting a professional counselor to guide you through it.

Reaching Out for Help

If the thought of aging is overwhelming to you, please reach out to our offices today. We will set up an appointment with a trained counselor who can walk you through your fears and challenges. This new senior season can bring unexpected joys. God never wastes time, and He has a plan for each season of your life.