Parenting Principles and Practices for Developing Core Values in Kids

Long before our children came into the world, we developed ideas about our lives. For many of us, that included what our families would be like, whether it was the number of children or assertions about what we would or would not do in parenting.

Subconsciously, we formed scripts borne out of the best and worst of our own childhoods. While life may not have mirrored our specific expectations, vision plays a significant role in shaping our core values. What we identify and prioritize will be reflected in our parenting and our children.

Our negative experiences can have an impact on families, but when redeemed and framed in the positive, they can be used for good. God created us with imagination. He uses it as a canvas to communicate what is possible.

When we dream with God, our delight in the Lord causes our hearts to be filled and overflowing with His desires (Psalm 37:4). As His Word guides, He reveals ideas for a godly legacy. Regardless of our pasts, God’s Heart showcases His plans for the family of humanity.

Our Vision and Values

While we may have a vision for our children and family, the enemy does too. Our fallen world presents its own set of barriers that oppose our objectives and the values that anchor and stabilize us. Our fight is not against other people, but against a defeated foe (2 Corinthians 10:4).

We take courage with the arsenal of spiritual weapons and armor at our disposal (Ephesians 6:10-18). We take comfort in being reinforced by the Spirit of Christ to firmly establish His kingdom of righteousness, peace, and joy, even in our family.

Whether we give birth or adopt, we have a divine privilege to partner with God in our parenting. When God gives us the promise and blessing of family, He leads us to seek Him as we commit ourselves and consecrate our families to Him. Our fears and doubts present opportunities for us to seek the leading of the Holy Spirit.

As we pursue His wisdom and knowledge, He navigates our family with the principles and practices that most align us with God’s highest and best intentions for our children and family legacy (Psalm 37:5).

God is a Father. Family is the haven where He places people in a relationship with Him and one another. We may have concerns about our ability to equip our sons and daughters with the values that reflect His Heart and our families. Yet, He encourages us to be fully confident in what He has begun (Philippians 1:6). He is the One who builds His house with what He has placed in our children, in us, and in our families.

…you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. – 1 Peter 2:5 NIV

Grace and Gratitude

When we consider how to raise our children with hearts that reflect the Father, we can begin with gratitude. Giving thanks early and often softens our hearts to regard our God and His goodness. While we are made worthy by God’s esteem of us, there is no entitlement, as we cannot earn righteousness. The grace of God is a gift that comes to us exclusively by faith in Christ. We do not secure it by man-made striving or manufactured means.

Just as we want our children to feel at home in our love for them, God wants the same for us. He wants us to receive all the family benefits that accompany being His sons and daughters. When we approach our lives from the perspective of being fully seen, known, and loved, we are humbled and filled with gratitude.

From this place, we respond to the Father’s love by sharing it unconditionally with others, including our children. Gratitude expresses appreciation for a loving Father who lavished grace beyond comprehension.

Our Father will guide us by His Spirit, leading us on how to train the unique children He’s crafted and placed in our care. When we ask, He answers (Jeremiah 33:3). He reveals how we can partner with Him for our life’s blessings and challenges.

As we hold triumph and trial in either hand, we can teach our kids gratitude practices that enhance joy amid hard times. It doesn’t have to be arduous, but rather adventurous to adapt and incorporate gratitude into regular family time and activities.

Aptitude for Adventure

By elevating a sense of adventure, we can foster a sense of wonder around expressing one’s love and thankfulness for God and one another. Kids are fluent in the language of play. It is how they learn and build on existing knowledge.

When we use creative approaches to making thankfulness or other core values a celebration or fun activity, our kids are likely to form meaningful connections with what we are trying to teach. We can keep this in mind as we develop individual and family activities in our homes and communities, loving and serving God as we do the same with and for others.

Identifying what we are grateful for, and perhaps, even creating themes around it can be a fun way to engage kids of all ages in quality conversations. We can make space in our family schedules to intentionally appreciate one another’s specific roles and actions. Whether verbal or written, identified or anonymous, we can convey our regard for one another as a part of family life.

Furthermore, we can empower gratitude to counter the effects of sibling rivalry, insults, and bickering. Building thankfulness into our communication can be part of a strategy to seek the good in one another despite the normal challenges that present themselves in family interactions.

Embracing Empathy

Empathy is an important component of developing a character that reflects core values consistent with Scripture. Jesus Himself admonished us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. It matters how we treat each other, as we would want someone to interact with us from a place of love and compassion.

When considering how loved we are, the writer of Hebrews reminds us that God Himself is touched by the feeling of our infirmities. He empathizes with us in our weaknesses.

Furthermore, He acknowledges that what troubles us is important enough for us to pause, pray, and pass our worries on to Him. God is not only the Spirit who comforts us but also the Savior who atones for our sins and errors (John 14:26; Hebrews 4;15-16). In exchange, the Lord assumes the burdens we can’t carry and offers His grace for what we can (Matthew 11:28-30).

Similarly, we are to help bear each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). As with many “one another” statements in the Word, it emerges first from the core value of loving one another (John 13:34).

Practically, this translates to raising children who initiate and can receive help from others. They will take cues from us as their parents. When we mobilize our gifts, talents, and skills to serve others in our unique way and to be served, we become humble and increasingly aware of God’s care for us and others.

Viewing each other through the lens of God’s love enables us to embrace opportunities to love and serve well. Modeling it for our children follows as we respond to God’s fathering.

Next Steps

All parents experience the challenges of how to anchor their kids in a sense of what resonates with their core values. They wonder if they are taking the “right” approach to what matters for them and their families. When it comes to navigating culture and society with the values taught in our households, we may wonder if we are equipping our kids well enough for what awaits beyond our thresholds.

However, God knew the conditions of the world as well as the integration of strengths and areas to grow that would be part of our toolkit. He has graced us with the will to walk out His good pleasure, even as we raise our children to live in wholeness and wellness (Philippians 2:13).

We could certainly avail ourselves of additional support. It is helpful to gather this from our essential source, God Himself; but He has positioned us uniquely to also seek and encounter assistance in other areas.

Whether we partner with family, friends, or those in our faith communities, we may find that we need to connect with a counselor to undergird our parenting practices. Take time to explore the resources posted on this site. Search and schedule with a counselor, receiving grace, even as you seek support in teaching your children how to embrace your family’s core values and do the same with others.