The Depression Iceberg: What Goes on Beneath the Surface

It’s not always easy to know when someone is battling depression. Sometimes, we are simply too focused on our own lives to notice the signs of depression in our loved ones. However, some people have high-functioning depression and mask the symptoms well.

We might be shocked to learn just how deep depression can go, even when it appears that all is well on the surface. Learning to spot subtle signs of depression can lead to probing conversations with loved ones that might end up saving their lives.

High-Functioning Depression

When people battle depression, they typically don’t have enough energy to spare for ordinary things. Things like household chores, hygiene, and social interactions can be draining for those with depression.

Depression can be visible in a person’s life, causing changes to their weight, appearance, and social habits. Most people with depression feel stuck and can’t manufacture the energy or focus to complete big or small tasks. Additionally, they might struggle with insomnia, memory loss, and physical sickness.

People with high-functioning depression, however, are able to meet all the ordinary demands that are made of them while dealing with depression. High-functioning depression is not a clinical diagnosis, but it is a helpful description of a certain type of depression that remains hidden beneath the surface of many people’s lives.

They manage to wake up on time, make work deadlines, meet regularly with friends, and keep up daily chores, all while feeling numb, disconnected, or hopeless. In this way, they are like an iceberg: the parts of their life that are visible to others seem to be “normal.” The part of their lives that is unseen often tells a different story, though.

What is Visible Versus What is Beneath the Surface

People don’t always know when they are depressed. This is especially true for those with high-functioning depression. It can take months or years to see the truth lurking below the surface. Some common traits point to high-functioning depression, however. All the following examples can be used as prompts when checking in with loved ones. You might be able to help a friend or relative realize that they are depressed and seek help.

Being the “jokester” People were devastated when it was revealed that actor Robin Williams had passed away by suicide. The funny man who was always adept at bringing joy to other people’s lives with his hilarious antics on camera had been secretly battling depression for decades, unbeknownst to almost everyone.

It’s a sad fact that those who seem to be the happiest, most relaxed people often feel precisely the opposite inside. If a friend is constantly making jokes and keeping up the spirits of those around them, it might be time to check in with them one-on-one. They might be covering their mental health struggles by keeping the atmosphere around them as joyful as possible.

Being the shoulder to cry on Some people avoid facing their struggles by helping others with theirs. They appear as if they are constant, reliable, and grounded, even when they feel lost and lonely inside.

If a friend is going to great lengths to make everyone else happy, it might be that they need help, too. They could have adopted the role of “the helper” as a distraction from the inner turmoil they are feeling. If you have a loved one in your life who is generous like this, check in with them; they may be far from okay.

Being “unshakeable” through struggles Everyone experiences peaks and valleys in life. For some, the low times can last for ages. How a person responds to these difficulties says a lot about their mental health.

Some people go the route of toxic positivity, constantly declaring that nothing will keep them down and that being held back in life only means they will be shot forward. There is nothing wrong with optimism and positivity. However, it should be counted as a red flag when someone cannot admit defeat occasionally.

Being high achieving Just like optimism can be good, so is it healthy to be ambitious. However, some people are driven to better themselves because they feel utterly worthless unless they are achieving.

Depression can look like lethargy and low energy, but it also frequently lurks beneath highly driven people. The truth is that they never feel satisfied, even with their accomplishments. Deep down, they know that no amount of accolades will make them happy. Knowing this causes them to lean into their ambitions harder.

Putting in the overtime Some work long hours at work because their home life is depressing. Meanwhile, they plunge deeper into depression from working too hard. On the surface, they appear dedicated and tireless, but deep down, they avoid facing personal problems.

Certain behaviors, like overworking, are praised in society when they should be a cause for concern. Many extreme or exaggerated behaviors are a cover for something concerning, like anxiety, depression, or even suicidal ideation. Just because someone looks successful or is focused on the outside, does not mean they are okay on the inside.

Checking in It doesn’t take much to check in with friends to see how they are doing. People with high-functioning depression might not be willing to talk about their struggles, even if they are aware of them. Regardless, it is important to check in with loved ones who might be covering up depression. Even when they would rather not share at a deeper level, they might appreciate that someone took the time to confront them gently.

The people we see the most are sometimes the ones who we know least about. It’s easy to take others for granted when they are such a fixed presence in our lives. If we are honest with ourselves, sometimes we would rather not hear that a loved one is struggling with depression. We naturally rely on our close friends for strength and support. It can be a scary thing to find out that our rock of support is crumbling under personal pressure.

There is no easy cure for depression, but it helps to have genuinely caring support. Some people go as far as to have weekly or monthly check-ins with their loved ones just to hear about how they are coping. This would be similar to a kind of free therapy; however, friends are not substitutes for therapists or counselors.

It’s not only our friends who struggle secretly with depression. It might be easy to talk to friends about their mental health, but you must also consider your family members and work colleagues. When you begin paying attention to a person’s behavior and habits, it becomes easier to spot high-functioning depression.

It might be a shock to see it in a parent, sibling, spouse, or boss, but once you have seen it, you must confront it. No one can save a person from depression or heal it, but anyone can have an honest conversation with the person they see regularly.

The more we all talk about our mental health struggles, the freer we become in addressing them. High-functioning depression might be common, but people do not easily recognize it. We can all have honest conversations with those around us as we offer to share burdens or hear someone out.

Christian Counseling for Depression in Harlingen, Texas

You can manage the symptoms of some depression with medication, but you might need to get to the heart of the issue to battle it truly. If you or someone you know recognizes high-functioning depression in their life, it would be wise to begin meeting with a Christian counselor in Harlingen, Texas.

Contact our office today at Texas Christian Counseling in Harlingen to schedule an appointment with me or another faith-based therapist in Harlingen. Begin the healing journey.