5 Tips for Anxiety in Teens

Anxiety can be a difficult battle for many teens, but it seems to plague girls a little more frequently than boys. Still, the symptoms of generalized anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and social anxiety can severely impact a teenager’s life regardless of gender. Here are five tips to help the teen in your life cope.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Teens

Studies show an increased experience of GAD in girls than in boys, specifically as they reach high school age and into college. This may be due to a variety of factors, but treatments for Generalized Anxiety Disorder are the same for both genders.

The Mayo Clinic characterizes generalized anxiety disorder as “excessive, ongoing anxiety and worry that are difficult to control and interfere with day-to-day activities.”

If you notice in your teen daughter or son a pattern of worry that doesn’t decrease after a specific event happens, it may be time to explore counseling. Counseling is one of the best treatment options for all types of anxiety, whether female or male, teen or adult.

The SCARED assessment can help a teen self-evaluate his or her frequency and type of anxiety. It can be comforting to name and discuss the anxiety triggers with a trusted adult. But, used in the care of a trained counselor, this assessment can help pinpoint if Generalized Anxiety Disorder is something your teen daughter or son is dealing with.

Whether you have a daughter or a son, pay attention to their signals. If they exhibit these symptoms regularly, you may consider seeing a counselor to talk through Generalized Anxiety Disorder as a possibility.

• Your son or daughter is frequently negative about situations, picking apart possible pitfalls, dangers, things that can go wrong, and taking a long time to make a decision about something that seems simple (such as whether to attend an event with friends).
• Your teen often expresses fear or worry about everyday events, such as doing things on his own or asking a question in class. They struggle with how to help friends who are not in crisis but perhaps struggling with common teen issues, such as dating, parental authority, or classwork.
• Your teen struggles to sleep consistently and can’t seem to shut his or her brain off because of a never-ending to-do list.
• Your teen frequently suffers from nausea, headaches, or digestive issues, or excessive aggravation with no other explanation or root cause.
• You have heard your teen obsess over everyday situations, such as being on time, knowing something is about to happen before it does, or getting highly agitated when she can’t know ahead of time. They may have a general irritability or lack of desire to participate in activities or hobbies she used to enjoy.

If one or more of these sounds like a struggle your teen daughter or son is dealing with, there is hope. Here are five ways to help your teen.

Five Ways to Help Teens with Anxiety

Do not rush to conclusions, but also don’t dismiss their feelings

Especially in today’s busy, fast-paced culture, it is easy to hear your teen is worried about something and dismiss it as normal or jump in with your own anxiety and try to diagnose it. Many teens will be concerned about a tryout or a test they have coming up. However, if this worry is being expressed most days out of the week or it is keeping your child from taking risks and enjoying activities or life outside your home, it’s important to slow down and listen first.

Even if you think the anxiety your child is expressing is just a normal symptom of hormones mixed with some added, short-term stress, listening to him or her goes a long way to helping your teen feel seen and supported.

Imagine if you expressed a concern to your spouse or a co-worker and they brushed it off, only to head to the next thing on their calendar. Would you feel encouraged or deflated?

We need to remember that our children are real people who need real support and solutions, not adults who lord their authority over them simply because they have lived longer. Active listening helps a teen voice what’s going on inside, even if it takes a while. Spend the time.

Do not try to fix or compare your teen’s anxiety

It’s all too common for a parent to share from his or her own experience when a teen expresses fear, agitation, or concern. However, this can make a teen feel unheard.

A better route is to ask follow-up questions that can’t be answered with yes or no. Examples may be things like, “How does that make you feel?” or “What helps when you start to feel this way?”

Your teen may not be able to answer such detailed questions right away, but he or she will know that you care and want to be a supportive parent.

Other questions you can ask include:

• I heard that you said _____. Is that right?
• Are there specific thoughts that lead to your feelings?
• What do you think is going on?

You can also express your empathy with statements such as, “Wow, that is a lot to deal with. I am so sorry,” or “I’m so grateful you felt like you could talk to me about this. How can I support you or help?”

Don’t sugarcoat a solution or promise it will go away

As parents, it’s tough to see our kids hurting. We want to wave our magic wand and take away their tears, insecurities, fears, and doubts. Still, if your child shows signs of any kind of anxiety, whether general anxiety disorder, social anxiety, or panic, there probably isn’t a quick fix, so try not to offer one.

Even counseling can’t simply sweep everything away. It is a wonderful next step, but it is a process, not a fifty-minute fix.

Instead of promising a solution, you can offer to help him find the next step. Often with anxiety, a teen’s thoughts spiral out of control and get into the weeds of overwhelming emotion quickly. Looking for a good next step is a way to bring your teen back to a small comfort rather than a long-term key that overgeneralizes and falsely promises to avoid anxiety forever.

Ask if your teen would like help looking for a journal or Bible study related to anxiety

Not all teens will be open to this, but it’s a great question to invite God into the situation they’re facing. Without offering a Christian platitude, this question presumes God is interested in their pain and gives them an active, albeit small, step to take in involving Him.

You can sit together to look for anxiety-related resource suggestions online or peruse an online bookstore to see what is offered in that category. Look for Christ-centered resources that also incorporate solid mental health practices.

Ask how you can pray for your teen

While you may have a teen who is open to looking at Scripture with you (which is amazing and recommended if they are open), your daughter or son may prefer to know they have a parent who prays for them.

Take a few minutes to jot down what they say. This will show you’re serious and you will not forget their pain. You can even pray with them in the moment.

Then, whenever you hear statements of anxiety or struggles with anger that may be signs of anxiety (particularly in boys), you can ask how they’re feeling or how you can pray for them more. It reveals you’ve had them on your mind and are being proactive in prayer without smothering them.

Encourage your teen to spend a few sessions with a trained mental health provider. Our offices have counselors in your area, and they are excellent at making teens feel comfortable in what can be viewed as an awkward setting.

However, jumping from “This is how I feel” to seeing a counselor may be too big a leap for your teen right now. In that case, simply suggest and see how open they are to learning about counseling.

They can Google “what to expect from counseling” or look at mental health-focused websites to discover common topics that people frequently discuss with counselors. Of course, you’ll want to ensure they’re researching in age-appropriate ways and reading about factual information, not just online reviews or what they find on social media.

You can also ask them if they’ve had any friends who have seen a counselor. While it may not be common for teens to discuss among peers, the idea that counseling is taboo is certainly diminishing. Counseling is ideally becoming more normalized in your home and in the friendship group your teen is in. If not, gentle encouragement to look at his options may help your teen think again about seeing a counselor if he has been resistant in the past.

If you believe your child’s anxiety is endangering himself or herself, or it’s severely impacting his or her ability to function at school and home, please contact a medical professional right away. Help is available. Contact us to learn more.