Parenting Teens in the Age of Social Media

One of the biggest issues parents face today is the effect of social media on kids as they age into their teenage years. After all, this is a new challenge in the scope of human history, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the issue. Where do you even begin setting limits with teens and younger kids when it comes to social media, internet use, and screen time?

Generation X (born 1965-1980) and millennials (born 1981-1996) are the first generations to come of age during the rise of the internet. Gen Xers and millennials watched the internet come into being and soar in popularity. Now, they are raising children who’ve never known another way to live.

Today’s “digital natives” are the first generation to be born with the internet and social media already entrenched in culture. Gen Z, born from 1997-2012, may remember a few years before the rise of social media, while Gen Alpha (2010-2024) does not.

While older generations may have grown up with the internet, that doesn’t mean they’ve been able to keep pace with the way it’s changed. Trends come and go at lightning speed, and algorithms are constantly evolving. Also, content is tailored so specifically to each demographic that a parent on social media is seeing quite different things from what would be fed to their child.

What does this mean for today’s parents of teens, and even younger kids?

The Risks of Social Media

Today’s parents are now experiencing something that their own parents have no advice for. While Gen X and Millennial parents may have dealt with some of the benefits and drawbacks of the internet, they also may struggle to stay abreast of new trends and the effects of social media on teens.

There are many things to be concerned about as it relates to young people and social media. Algorithms can lock users into echo chambers and shape their views into increasingly extremist perspectives. Misinformation (false information that is spread unintentionally) and disinformation (false information intended to mislead) are rampant and can influence and radicalize young people.

Likewise, harmful content, including violence, pornography, and hate, leaves young people increasingly desensitized. There is a risk of strangers posing in a way that attracts kids whom they later victimize. Of course, there is also the risk of screen addiction and attention spans being impacted by the constant stimuli.

Each danger is enough to raise concern on its own, but when you combine these factors, a picture emerges – parents cannot afford to ignore how social media use affects their children. Parents might wonder, “Are my kids safe online?” or “What age should I let my teen have social media?” or “Am I being too strict?” All of these are good questions, and impossible to answer with one solution for everyone.

These concerns can apply across the board, to all ages and anyone capable of logging onto the internet. When we’re considering the developing brain and the hugely crucial changes happening during adolescence, more alarm bells ring.

What the Research Says

What are the concerns about social media usage for teens specifically? According to research reported by Yale University, there are three big factors in the level of harm of the effects of social media on teens: the time spent, the type of content consumed, and the level of disruption to daily life and functioning.

Because adolescence is such a crucial time for brain development, teens’ brains are especially vulnerable to the effects of these factors. Parents must consider how long teens spend online, what they’re doing there, and whether their internet or social use is preventing them from functioning well on a day-to-day basis.

It’s fair to also mention the potential benefits associated with social media on teens, because they do exist. These benefits include connection with others, especially regarding niche interests or demographics. Teens can benefit from safe online communities and friendships and feel affirmed in their individuality. Creativity is another benefit – teens can be incredibly innovative, whether they’re creating content or showcasing their hobbies or interests.

And self-expression is another primary benefit of social media for teens, overlapping with the other two. Individual self-expression and peer connection are hugely important developmental aspects of adolescence, and the internet has the potential to facilitate these.

Balancing the Risks and Benefits

Social media is designed to be as addictive as possible – and it works. “In 2022, up to 95% of teenagers surveyed (ages 13 to 17) reported using social media, and more than a third of them use it ‘almost constantly.’” (Yale)

Why is social media so addictive for teens? The American Psychological Association (APA) identifies infinite scroll, lack of time limits, and push notifications as three of the most harmful addictive factors of social media apps, noting that teens are particularly vulnerable due to their still-developing brains and impulse control.

Social media addiction can affect teens’ daily functioning and limit them from connecting with others in real life. It can make it difficult for them to accomplish necessary tasks and get enough sleep. It can have serious mental health impacts as well, including depression, attention problems, and body image issues.

“According to a research study of American teens ages twelve to fifteen, those who used social media over three hours each day faced twice the risk of having negative mental health outcomes, including depression and anxiety symptoms.” (Yale) Considering the risks of social media for teens, parents and educators are right to be concerned about teens’ use. What can parents do to prevent problems and regulate screen time without constant battles?

How Parents Can Respond

It’s challenging to come up with appropriate social media and internet use rules for teens, because it’s not as simple as “just don’t give teens a smartphone.” Many extracurricular and academic systems rely on apps and smartphones for communication. Parental control functions can be confusing and complicated, and teens can find ways around them.

In addition, a great deal of adolescent socializing takes place on apps, for better or worse, leaving teens who don’t have them to feel excluded and disconnected.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to these issues. Rules and boundaries are necessary. Parents can set basic guidelines like keeping devices out of the bedroom to protect sleep and making sure important tasks like homework and chores are done before screen time. Parents can gradually increase phone and screen time freedom as their teens get older, while having ongoing and open conversations about online safety and healthy screen time habits.

It’s also important for parents to set a good example when it comes to social media use. Every age is susceptible to smartphone and internet addiction. If teens witness their parents set healthy boundaries for themselves with smartphone use, they may be more open to listening to their advice.

Every family has to decide on their own rules and boundaries for internet use, but they might include a “no phones during dinner rule,” a charging station where everyone leaves their phones overnight, encouragement to put phones in another room during family time, or other screen time limits that everyone follows.

A ritual like “screen-free Sunday” can become a positive family tradition over time, although teens and younger kids may complain at first. Involving teens in the discussions and decisions about these habits can help them feel included instead of imposed on.

Every teen’s maturity level is different. The goal is to prepare them for adulthood and their impending independence, but also protect their developing brains from the effects of social media as long as possible.

Christian Counseling for Parents and Teens

Individual counseling for teens and parents can help all ages navigate these tricky years and decisions. If you need help navigating rules and boundaries with your teen, or you’re concerned that your teen’s mental health has been harmed by social media, Christian counseling can help. The skilled and experienced counselors at our counseling practice are here to guide parenting, social media, and adolescent development through a biblical lens.

Contact our office today for your risk-free initial session or browse our online counselor directory at Texas Christian Counseling to find a Christian counselor in Texas who’s a good fit for you and your child.